


Where'd You Go?

by CIandSVUcrazy



Category: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-21 15:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 35,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1555580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CIandSVUcrazy/pseuds/CIandSVUcrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex is shot and Bobby has to cope with the results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

### Chapter 1

“Goren,” Detective Robert Goren answered the phone. 

“Detective,” a voice rasped. “Come and meet me at the shack. You know which. Come alone.” Click. 

Bobby stared at the phone. The shack was an old building that was falling down behind his apartment building. He looked up and saw concern in the eyes of his partner, Detective Alexandra Eames. 

“What was that call about?” Alex asked. 

“I’m not sure,” he said. Some guy just called and told me to meet him at the shack behind my building…” he trailed off, confused. 

“Are you going?” Alex asked. 

Bobby loved that about her. She never assumed, she never told him what to do; she just listened, than asked him what he was going to do. 

“It could be McKellen,” Bobby said. He was referring to the serial killer that they had interrogated, decided was guilty, and had to send home because they couldn’t prove it. 

“So I take it we’re going?” she asked. 

“He told me to come alone,” Bobby said. 

“So I take it we’re going?” she asked again. 

He grinned at her. “Yeah, I guess so,” he said. 

 

Bobby and Alex reached for their guns, and crept towards the shack. 

One, Bobby signaled with his fingers, two, and three. He burst through the door. 

“Detective…” the voice trailed off. Neither Bobby nor Alex could see because their eyes hadn’t adjusted to the dark. 

“I thought I told you to come alone,” he said. From the light of the door Bobby could just see the figure point a gun at his partner. Before he could even think, the man had pulled the trigger. 

“Alex!” he cried. The shot had hit her in the head. “No,” he gasped. He felt the man pass him, but didn’t do anything about it. He just stared at Alex. He knew it was pointless, but he felt for a pulse. Nothing. He was about to pull his fingers from her neck when he felt something beneath them. He paused, and felt it again. She had a pulse! She was still alive. He grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911. 

“911, what is your emergency,” came the voice on the other end of the phone. 

“Help!” he screamed into the phone. He knew he should try to stay calm but he couldn’t his partner and his best friend, lay bleeding at his feet. She was dying and he knew it, but couldn’t bear it. “This is Detective Goren, Major Case Squad, my partner’s been shot, please hurry!” he screamed into the phone. 

“What is your location?” the voice asked. Bobby was shaking now, like he wouldn’t ever stop. He screamed the address into the phone, and tears fell and mixed with the pool of blood.

He threw the phone down, and picked up Alex’s head and cradled it in his arms. The blood spilled over him, and his arms were soon soaked through from the blood. “Hold on,” he told her. “The ambulance is coming!” he cried into her horribly pale face. 

He didn’t know when the ambulance came, but he threw himself in with his partner, and refused to leave her. He had only one feeling the whole way to the hospital, and only one thought. The feeling was horror. The thought was: this is all my fault.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse the many medical and/or other mistakes throughout. I wrote this story many years ago (published originally on fanfiction.net) and didn't research anything, but I didn't want to make the story different from the original.

Bobby sat in the waiting room, playing the scene over and over in his mind. Detective… Bobby blinked his eyes closed and rubbed his temples. _I thought I told you to come alone._ There had been so much blood. All Bobby needed to remind him of this was to look at his arms, and lap. They were both soaked with blood. 

“Goren!” Bobby heard a voice say. A voice that commanded attention. This voice belonged to his boss, captain Danny Ross. He looked up and saw the captain. 

“Goren,” captain Ross said again, more gently. 

“I...I...she… just...I couldn’t…I should’ve…” Bobby stuttered, trying to hold back tears. 

“You can explain later,” the captain said. “Right now, I’m calling her parents, and you need to go home, get changed, eat, and try to sleep,” the captain said. Goren stared at the captain as if he had grown two heads. “All right, you don’t need to sleep,” Ross said.

“I need to stay and wait… to find out if…” Bobby said, unable to finish his sentence: to find out if she lives or dies. 

 

Bobby still hadn’t left the chair. He saw Ross come back, accompanied by an older couple. The man was practically carrying his wife, who was crying. They were Alex’s parents. Ross walked over. 

“This is detective Goren,” he said. They both stared at him, and then, to Bobby’s horror, the woman started to cry even harder. 

“You have her blood all over you,” Mr. Eames said. 

“Oh, God, I’m sorry,” Bobby said. “I just needed to hear if she was going to be okay,” he said, his pleading with them to understand. Or rather, with Mr. Eames, Mrs. Eames was still crying hysterically. Mr. Eames surveyed Bobby with his eyes narrowed, but then his expression cleared. 

“What happened?” he asked. Bobby looked pleadingly at Ross, but Ross was also looking at him, waiting for an explanation. 

“I got a call,” Bobby whispered. “It was a man that didn’t say who he was, but asked me to go to the shack behind my house, alone,” he continued in his soft voice. “I thought it was McKellen, maybe sharing something about the case,” he whispered. “She said that she was coming with,” Bobby said. “But when we got there it was dark, and he…he just…” tears started to leak from the corners of his eyes. “It’s all my fault!” he cried. 

“Detective Goren, it is not your fault,” John Eames stated. Bobby stared at him. “You did everything right,” he said.

“She shouldn’t have come, he shot her because I didn’t listen,” Bobby whispered.

“If that’s how it went, then she would be sitting here, wishing she could go back in time,” John said. 

“I shouldn’t have gone,” Bobby said. 

“My daughter is very stubborn, and the two of you still would have gone, and if she was here, she would be telling you to go get changed, and eat something,” John said.   
Bobby knew she would be doing just that. 

“Mr. Goren?” a voice asked. Bobby shot into the air like he had sat on a pin. 

“You’re the one listed on her medical forms to be contacted in case of a medical emergency,” the nurse said. 

“Is she going to be okay?” he gasped. She looked warily at the three people standing behind him. 

It’s okay, these are her parents and captain,” he said.

“Detective Eames is alive,” the nurse said, but she still sounded very guarded.

“Can we see her?” Bobby asked, relieved she was alive, but worried about the nurse’s guarded tone.

“You should go talk to her doctor, he’s coming right now,” the nurse said pointing to a man that was approaching them from the hallway that branched off the waiting room. 

“I’m doctor Marshall,’ the man said. 

“How is she?” Mrs. Eames asked. 

“Your daughter had extreme head trauma,” the doctor said. “Her skull kept the bullet out of her brain, but the part where it hit ‘exploded’ so to say,” he said. “We got the bullet out, but chips of her skull were imbedded in her brain. We did surgery to get the fragments out, and gave her anti-inflammatory drugs to try and keep the swelling down. She’s lucky to be alive, but I’m afraid there was a lot of damage done. She is in a coma. It’s impossible to know if she will ever wake up, but even if she does, there is a high risk that she will have memory loss, or permanent brain damage,” the doctor finished. “She’s in room 310, in the ICU,” he said. 

Bobby ran to the elevator like a bat out of hell, hit the call button, changed his mind, and shot up the stairs. He darted into the ICU, and read the room numbers as he passed. He arrived at room 310. He took a deep breath, and it came out in a sob. He stood there gasping, until he finally managed to catch his breath and stop sobbing. By this time Mr. and Mrs. Eames had arrived. Bobby pushed open the door, and the three people walked in with baited breath.


	3. Chapter Three

Bobby knew it would be bad, but what met his eyes was about one of the worst things he had ever seen. And he knew for sure, that her chances couldn’t be good. Not when she looked this bad. Her hair had been shaved off on the right side of her head. A huge bandage was covering just behind her temple, all the way to the back of her head. Tubes were taped to her mouth, surely going down her throat, and he could see a balloon filling with air, and emptying with a huge gasp. Her face was pale as death. An I.V was in her arm, and various bags hung from the pole. Wires snaked in her hospital gown. He could see that her hands were clammy. Monitors beeped and hummed, but couldn’t compare to the air that sounded oddly like a machine gasping for breath. It was the machine that kept her alive. She couldn’t even breathe; the machine was doing it for her. 

But there was one thing that was worse than all the others. Her eyes were taped shut. How many times had he stared into those eyes, and sensed how she was feeling immediately? He had seen sympathy, understanding, amusement, annoyance, and, though only once, fear. Sometimes he thought he had seen something more than happiness, when they talked, when they knew what the other was thinking, when he caught her looking at him and she didn’t know it yet, and when they were laughing. He especially loved her eyes when she was laughing. And now her eyes were taped shut. 

Mr. Eames was now holding Mrs. Eames up again. He was staring at his daughter in open-mouthed horror. Bobby looked around him; he wished he were somewhere, anywhere else. Not looking at Alex, wasting away behind taped eyes. 

The doctor came in and whispered quietly what some of the machines were doing. Monitoring her vitals, the IV, a blood transfusion, breathing…  
“Why did you tape her eyes shut?” Bobby whispered the question. 

“For two reasons,” doctor Marshall said. “So that the light won’t disturb her and she can focus completely on getting better,” he said. “And because when a patient opens their eyes, it gives the family and friends false hope,” he whispered. 

 

Bobby was at home, changing his shirt. He yanked at the arms, and dropped the shirt on the ground. He started to wash the blood off his hands. He felt like a murderer.   
He changed his pants and pulled on a clean shirt. He fixed the cuffs of the sleeves automatically. He looked in the mirror to fix the collar, and saw his reflection. His face was pale and drawn. He closed his eyes against his reflection. 

Behind his eyelids, he could see Alex. She was laughing, her brown eyes sparkling. Then suddenly the image changed, and her eyes were taped shut. Tubes and wires were running and attaching to her body. Her face was pale, paler than his was. He flashed his eyes open, but he couldn’t send the image away. Sobbing, he threw himself down on the ground and wept for all that was lost, all that was his strength, his soul, his heart. All that was his Alex. 

 

Bobby sat holding Alex’s hand, and staring at her blank face. Doctor Marshall had said that coma patients sometimes remembered everything people had said to them. 

“Hey Alex,” he whispered. “It’s me, Bobby.” He didn’t know why he was whispering, he just was. “We’re looking for McKellen now,” he said. “Trust me, I will lock the S.O.B. up and throw away the key,” he told her. 

He suddenly had the urge to cry, and even though he knew it was stupid he didn’t want her to hear him cry. He walked into the hallway, and looked both ways. No one was there. He started to sob, and he leaned against the wall and slowly lowered himself into a sitting position on the floor. 

“It’s hard seeing them like that, isn’t it?” a voice asked and Bobby looked up to see a girl that was about 14 looking down at him with sympathy in her bright blue eyes. 

“Who’re you?” he asked, standing up. 

“I’m Sally-Jean Randall,” she said. “And you were just in there with Detective Alexandra Eames,” she stated. “She’s not married, and there’s no family resemblance between the two of you, so you must be her partner,” she said. “Pleased to meet you detective. And it does get easier,” she said. Bobby stared at her, his mouth hanging open.   
“Right, you think I’m a stalker,” she muttered. “I come in and visit the patients, and I get, uh, a little personally invested in the lives of coma patients,” she said. “I read the report, and you were there when she was shot. This does not make it your fault,” she said. 

He stared at her. The only other person he knew that was as observant and, well, good at putting two and two together like that was himself. “What’s your name?” she asked. 

“Bobby,” he replied. 

“Right then Bobby, you want to talk about it?” she asked. He didn’t know why, but he felt like he could trust this girl. He also thought she looked vaguely familiar, but he didn’t know where he’d seen her before. 

“What if she dies?” he voiced the question that scared him the most. 

“She’s not gonna die,” Sally-Jean said with certainty. Bobby smiled slightly at her. 

She glared at him. “Don’t smirk at me,” she snapped, reminding him so much of Alex he could have cried right there. “I know she’s not,” Sally-Jean said.

“It’s nice to think that, but how can you know?” Bobby asked.

“I’m 14, don’t talk to me like I’m a kid,” she snapped. “And I know because she got shot in the freakin’ head and managed to stay alive,” she said. “And if that’s not an example of a fighter, I’ll eat my dog for lunch,” she said. 

“Sally-Jean Randall, you have got to be one of the strangest people I’ve ever met,” Bobby said. “Bobby your-last-name-here, people tell me that a lot,” she said. 

“Goren,” he said. 

“Pardon?” she asked. 

“My last name is Goren,” he said. 

“Bobby Goren, you and me are gonna walk into room 310, and we aren’t going to leave until you give her a proper good-bye,” she said.

He looked at her. “I can’t go in there,” he muttered. 

“Fine,” she snapped. She walked back into the room. 

“Alex,” he heard her say. “Bobby Goren left in a hurry, I know. But I’m sure he’ll be back,” Sally-Jean said. “He loves you too much to leave you alone for too long,” she said. 

_Yes,_ Bobby thought, _I love her too much._

Bobby turned and walked to the cafeteria to have a coffee and calm down before going back into Alex’s room. 

“Guess what?” Bobby heard Sally-Jean say as he approached Alex’s room. “Bobby’s back,” she said. “I told ya.”

Bobby walked in, surprised. “How did you know it was me?” he asked. 

“I can tell from the way you walk,” she answered. “It was your footsteps.”

Sally-Jean walked out of the room. “I knew you’d come back,” Sally-Jean said, and flashed him a smile. 

“You know me too well, and we only just met,” he said. His easy smile left his face the moment he entered room 310. The machine was still making a lot of noise, as it gasped for air. Her face was still deathly pale and horribly blank. He stood in the doorway and stared at her, feeling the helplessness creep in again. “She won’t bite you know,” Sally-Jean said, walking up to the bed and touching her hand. Bobby walked over and picked up her hand. “I’ll leave now,” Sally-Jean said. She walked out the door, and turned down the hall. Bobby was amazed that she knew just how much to push him, and when to leave. 

“Hey Alex,” Bobby whispered. “I’m sorry I left like that earlier. I just didn’t know what to do, you being like this. You need to get better Alex. Please,” he said, nearly crying now. “I need you to come back to me.” 

Bobby jumped out of his skin and nearly yelped in surprise as his cell phone vibrated. The captain had sent him a text message. Three words were written on the screen. “Alex,” he whispered. “I’ve got to go. We got him.”


	4. Chapter 4

Bobby speed walked towards one of the interrogation rooms. 

“Bobby, don’t do anything stupid,” Ross said. Bobby nodded to show he understood and walked into the room. 

“Robert Goren,” McKellen said, grinning. 

“Mark McKellen,” Bobby said. “You are accused of stabbing, murdering, and eating 7 women,” Bobby said. “You stabbed them each 20 times, until they bled to death, and then ate their bodies. And you shot my partner,” he added. 

“Yes,” McKellen answered. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and showed them to Bobby. “I haven’t washed my hands,” McKellen said. “Her blood was delicious. I bet she would have tasted good,” he said, licking his lips. 

“So you admit killing 7 women?” Bobby asked. 

“That’s what I was going to tell you,” McKellen said. “But I just couldn’t concentrate with your partner there. I had to taste her,” he said, grinning again. 

“I saved this for you,” McKellen said. He started unwrapping a package that was wrapped in tin foil. He pulled out 7 fingers. Bobby shoved his chair back from the table to get away from the disgusting sight and smell. 

“Yes they have started to go bad,” McKellen said sadly. 

The door burst open and Ross, Logan, and Wheeler came in to take away he fingers, they didn’t need a confession anymore. 

Bobby headed out of the room, and made a beeline for the exit. 

“Where’re you going?” Logan demanded. 

“To the hospital,” Bobby replied.

 

Bobby walked into room 310. He stared at his partner, as he always did when he walked into the room. He always hoped that he’d walk in, and find her sitting up, and very much alive. But no, she looked the same as she had the first time he walked in to room 310. 

Bobby walked over and plopped heavily into the hard white chair next to Alex’s bed. He reached for her hand. 

“McKellen’s going away for life, no parole for sure,” Bobby said. 

He brushed her hair away from her face, gazing at her taped eyelids, trying to imagine how she would react to this news. 

Closing his eyes, he imagined her smile. If only he could sit like this forever, and not come back to reality. Reality was, Alex wasn’t smiling. She couldn’t. She might never smile again. 

“Please get better,” he whispered in her ear. “Please come back, please,” he whispered. 

He remembered the last time he had whispered in her ear. 

_“Bobby, just tell me where we’re going,” Alex begged._

_“Nope, it’s a surprise,” Bobby answered. “Besides, then you probably would have kicked me out of the drivers seat and drove there yourself,” he said, “I need an excuse to drive.”_

_Alex laughed, and Bobby savoured the sound, as he always did._

_“We’re here,” he said getting out of the SUV._

_“Bobby,” Alex said, “We’re in the middle of nowhere.”_

_“Don’t be so sure,” he answered, getting the picnic lunch out of the backseat._

_“We could have had a picnic somewhere closer,” Alex complained good-naturedly._

_Bobby just smiled and led her into the trees. They finally stopped after walking for about 10 minutes._

_“I like to come here sometimes, I know no one is watching and listening,” he whispered._

_“Why are we whispering?” Alex asked quietly._

_Bobby leaned stepped close to her, so close he could have wrapped his arms around her tiny frame._

_“I don’t know,” he whispered in her ear._

_She smiled. “It just fits,” she said. “This is the perfect place for a picnic,” she whispered, “Thank you for bringing me.”_

“You know, I love your smile,” Bobby said. “I don’t know if I ever told you,” he said. “I just thought you should know,” he whispered around the lump in his throat. 

“I thought it would be easier,” Bobby said sadly. “I thought if I caught McKellen, I thought…” he let his sentence trail away. “But it didn’t make a difference. You’re still the same as you were before. It didn’t change a damn thing.”


	5. Chapter Five

Bobby sat alone in his apartment, staring at the TV without really seeing it. He didn’t even notice that he was watching Sesame Street in French. 

_“L, pour lumière,”_ the TV said. 

Bobby’s head rested on his shoulder, and he fell into a sleep that was filled with nightmares.

_Alex was lying on the ground, blood pouring out of the wound on her head. Then the image changed, and she was lying in the hospital bed, her eyes taped shut, with wires snaking around her, machines beeping, and the balloon filling with air for her to breathe. She was sitting up, and turning towards him. And though she was facing him, her eyes weren’t open. Sightlessly, she faced him. “Why Bobby?” she asked, and her voice was hoarse and raspy. “You were right there, and you didn’t stop him,” she said. “You might as well have pulled the trigger yourself,” she hissed._

_“No, Alex,” Bobby begged._

_“You did this!” she shrieked._

“No!” Bobby cried as he woke up. “It’s not my fault, I didn’t mean to!” Tears streaked down his face, falling onto his lap. A loud rapping on his door caught his attention, and he stopped yelling to listen. 

“Bobby!” Mike Logan yelled. “Bobby, are you okay in there!” “I swear I’ll break down this door!” 

Knowing he would, Bobby rushed to the door, and opened it to reveal Mike Logan standing there. 

“What the hell was going on?” Mike demanded. 

“Nothing,” Bobby said unconvincingly. He started wiping sweat and tears off his face. 

“Nothing?” Mike asked sarcastically. “You were yelling about it not being your fault, that you didn’t mean to.” “You were talking about Eames,” he said. 

Knowing there was no denying it, he nodded slowly, his mind still partially dwelling on the horror of his nightmare. 

“It is not your fault, and Eames wouldn’t blame you!” Mike said. 

“I was right there,” Bobby whispered, and Mike saw the horror in his eyes, the self-disgust that he hadn’t done anything. 

“You need to go a little easier on yourself, Bobby, because there is **nothing you could have done,** ” Mike said, stressing the last 5 words. 

Bobby looked up, and met Mike’s eyes. “I could have stopped him,” Bobby said. 

“How?” Mike asked. “How the hell would you have done that? You think you’re super man? No one would have been able to stop him,” Mike said, still trying his hardest to make Bobby see it the way everyone else did. Bobby just shook his head. “Bobby, if it was you that had been shot, would you blame Eames?” he asked. Bobby shook his head. 

“It was dark, you couldn’t see anything,” he said. 

“There you go,” Mike answered. 

Bobby thought about the shooting, really thinking about it, not what he thought had happened, but what he actually remembered. It had felt like everything had happened in slow motion. But in reality, in his mind he now knew, he couldn’t have stopped him. But that didn’t change the fact that in his heart, he felt that he should have been able to save the woman he loved. 

“I never even told her I loved her,” Bobby muttered. 

“What was that?” Mike asked. Bobby shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. Those thoughts were too personal, even for his friend. 

“I’m going to go see Alex,” Bobby said suddenly. 

“It’s 2 in the morning Bobby, you’re not going anywhere but to bed,” Mike said sternly. He grabbed Bobby by the arm and steered him to his room. 

 

Walking into work, Bobby knew things would be bad. On his way to the Major Case Squad, cops kept coming up to him and saying they were sorry for what had happened. This in itself wasn’t so bad; it was the fact that everyone acted like she was already dead. Alex **was** a good cop, Alex **was** a good person, but not Alex **is**. He wanted to yell that she hadn’t died, but it wouldn’t do any good. Instead, he nodded and thanked everyone. But he was very glad to finally sit down at his desk. Until he remembered that if he looked up, Alex wouldn’t be sipping her morning coffee, or reading a file, or filling out paper work. So he avoided looking up. 

“Goren!” Ross called. 

Bobby got up, averting his eyes from the desk across from his. “Yes sir?” he said. 

“Come in,” Ross said, holding open the door to his office. Bobby walked in, and stood anxiously. 

“Have a seat,” Ross said. 

“If it’s all right sir, I’d rather stand,” Bobby replied. 

“Fine,” Ross said. “Now, I’ve been looking through files, and Hubert Sustan sounds like the best candidate. 

“For what?” Bobby asked. 

“For your partner,” Ross replied. 

Bobby felt as if his blood had turned to ice. He hadn’t thought about that. 

“I have a partner,” he said.

“Detective Eames is obviously not going to come to work any time soon, and she may never come back,” Ross said stiffly. 

“I believe she will sir,” Bobby replied.

“That’s fine but until then, you need a partner,” Ross countered. 

“I can work with Logan and Wheeler until she comes back,” Bobby said defiantly.

“Hubert Sustan is coming tomorrow and you **will** work with him!” Ross barked. 

“Yes… _sir_ ,” Bobby said sarcastically. 

“Go home, get some rest, and then be ready to start work with Bert Sustan!” Ross snarled as Bobby slammed the door.

 

As expected, Bobby ignored the captain’s orders and went to the hospital instead of home. He walked the path to room 310 without really thinking about it. He had walked this path so many times. 

“…Sometimes I wonder if this is just cruel, to everyone involved,” a voice said. Bobby stalled outside the doorway, listening to see if whoever it was would leave soon. He didn’t mean to be rude, but he just didn’t want to talk to any of Alex’s family. 

“She’s a fighter, she’ll make it,” someone else replied. Bobby recognized the voice of John Eames, and guessed that the other voice must belong to his wife. 

“The doctor says she might have permanent brain damage,” his wife said. “She wouldn’t want to live like that, and you know it. She could stay in a coma for years,” she sobbed. “Doctor Marshall said that her organs can save 5 people that they know of now, and wouldn’t that be better than just keeping her here when she might never recover?”   
Bobby had heard enough. He didn’t wait to hear John’s reply, but instead walked down the hall in a rage, not sure where he was going. He found himself in front of the doorway to the chapel, and he went in to try and let his rage cool. How could her own mother want her dead?

He stopped and listened. Was someone crying? He located the source of the strangled sobs the shape of a girl with brown hair resting her head on her knees, shaking with the sobs. She looked up and saw him. He knew those bright blue eyes. Knew them form somewhere else too…he just couldn’t remember where. It was Sally-Jean Randall. 

“Holy shit, you shouldn’t just sneak up on people like that!” she gasped. 

“Sorry,” he said.

She started wiping tears off her face and sniffing. Her eyes were red and puffy. 

“Why are you crying?” Bobby asked. 

“I’m not anymore,” she replied. 

“Why were you crying?” Bobby rephrased.

She shrugged. “How’s Alex?” she asked. 

“Fine,” he said, but then he remembered why he had left in the first place, and his anger returned. 

“No change, huh?” she asked, and he heard sympathy in her voice. Funny, she was quite rude and annoying last time he’d seen her. He looked up at her and jumped. The tears were wiped from her face, but she had revealed a large black bruise on her cheek that had been covered in makeup until she wiped her tears away. It was exactly the right size and location for someone to have punched her in the face. 

“Who hit you?” he asked, pointing to the bruise. 

“No one, it’s nothing,” she said quickly. 

“Why were you crying?” he tried again. 

Her bright blue eyes shone with tears. “They pulled the plug,” she whispered.

“Excuse me?” he asked. 

“Gregory Roberts in room 312!” she exclaimed. “He was 65 years old, and so his wife said it would be better to just let him go. I didn’t even know him, but I feel like I did. He was here for 6 months, and then she told Doctor Marshall to pull the plug.” She stopped to take a deep shuddering breath. “His heart was still beating, he wasn’t brain-dead, how could they just give up on him! He wasn’t gone, and I don’t want to hear about that crap that he’s in a better place now,” she sobbed. “I suppose sometimes people just die, and that’s the way it is.” 

Bobby stared at her. He hadn’t expected that outburst. 

“I’m sorry, you don’t need to hear this, not from me, and not now,” she said, containing herself, though her tears still silently streamed down her face. 

“It’s all right,” Bobby said. “You can continue if you want.” 

“You don’t know the worst part,” she whispered. 

“What?” he asked. 

“I knew his wife well, she let me come in, and she talked to me, really talked, not just like I was some dumb kid that knew nothing, but as an equal. She was dying of breast cancer, and she stopped taking her medication when her husband died. She said it was the only way for them to really be together again. So they’re both going to die.” The energy it took to tell him all this seemed to drain her of energy, and she slumped into the corner again. 

“I guess she just wanted to be with him again,” Bobby said. 

“You wouldn’t pull the plug on Alex and kill yourself, would you?” she asked. 

“No,” he replied truthfully. 

She nodded. “Good. I’m worried for her mom,” she said.

“Who’s” Bobby asked.

“Alex’s,” she replied. “This hit her hard, she never wanted her youngest daughter to follow in the footsteps of her father.” 

“You’ve been talking to Mrs. Eames,” Bobby said. 

“I try to help families through their grief,” she agreed. “I guess I’m not doing a good job,” she said angrily. “She doesn’t know what to do to help Alex. I keep telling her to keep doing what she’s doing, but she’s right out there.” 

“What do you mean?” Bobby asked warily. 

“She’s losing it, I heard her yelling at her husband, and I saw her doing something else really bad,” she said.

“What did she do?” Bobby asked, his mind running away with him, and showing images of the wires keeping Alex alive being disconnected. 

“That’s her secret isn’t it?” Sally-Jean said. “I have no right to tell you.”

“I need to know,” Bobby said. 

“If you want to know go ask her,” she said. “I see you avoid her family, and you don’t need to. No one blames you Bobby.”

“I blame me,” he replied.

“I need to show you something,” she said. “But not today, I’m going to be late,” she said. 

Bobby checked his watch. It was 9:30. “Yeah, you should be getting home, it’s a dangerous city at night,” he said.

“I’m not going home,” she said.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“To work,” she replied, and with that, she left. 

Bobby sat in the chapel, his thoughts whirling. Alex, Hubert Sustan, Alex, Sally-Jean, Alex, Gregory Roberts, Alex, Mrs. Eames, Alex… He finally got up at quarter to 10, and went back to Alex’s room. 

“Hey,” he whispered. “I have to work with a new partner, Hubert Sustan. I don’t want to, I want you back, but Ross insists. There’s not much going on other than then that,” he finished. He looked behind him to make sure no one was there. Then he leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the forehead. “I love you, please, please come back to me soon,” he whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Bobby walked nervously into work the next morning. He was a little late, for the first time in a very long time. He had stayed awake late into the night with his thoughts spinning, and slept through his alarm. 

“Goren!” Ross called. Bobby turned and walked cautiously up to Ross and a man that could only be Hubert Sustan. Sustan was average height, with short curly brown hair. He was a little chubby, and had a constant scowl etched on his face. His eyes were… well they were disgusting. They looked like a pool of mustard with little turds floating in them. The effect was that when Bobby looked in them it made him feel like he was being drowned in a lake of polluted mustard. Sustan’s nostrils flared, but his suit was brand new, and looked expensive. If he had bothered to look, Bobby would have seen the 800-dollar shoes Sustan was wearing. It took only a couple seconds for Bobby to notice all this. 

“Bert Sustan,” Sustan grunted, and held out a heavily callused hand. “Bobby Goren,” Bobby muttered, shaking Sustan’s hand, and feeling like his fingers might be crushed. 

“All right, you’ve got a case, in that new office building 3 blocks away,” Ross said. “Man in his 20’s identified as Victor Hasher, the owner of the building.” “Head on up,” he said, and turned away. 

“You drive?” Sustan grunted. “My partner, she drives…” Bobby trailed off. 

“You’re partner’s a woman, and you let her drive?” Sustan asked, in a tone that made Bobby think that Sustan disapproved.

“Yeah,” Bobby said angrily. 

“Whatever,” Sustan said. The two men walked out of the building silently. Neither spoke as they got in the car, Sustan driving. 

“Bad luck, with your partner,” Sustan said. Bobby nodded. “If you don’t react fast enough, bam, and you’re dead,” Sustan said. 

If this was Sustan’s idea of a friendly conversation, Bobby certainly didn’t agree. 

“She’s not dead,” Bobby muttered. 

“No, but she’s a veggie now isn’t she?” he asked. “It’s as good as.” 

“Look, you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Bobby exclaimed, trying his hardest not to punch Sustan into tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that…

The two men stayed quiet the rest of the trip. 

 

As if it could get worse than that first conversation! But it did. Sustan was aggressive in his questioning, and sceptical of Bobby’s unique observation techniques, and actually told Bobby to stop playing with dead bodies when Bobby had found a strange substance around the victim’s mouth and nose. He had dropped rude and thoughtless comments all day, but the worst was yet to come. It happened, as Bobby was getting ready to leave for his daily visit to the hospital. 

“Yeah, I heard that his partners couldn’t stand him, didn’t even last a week, most of them,” an officer Bobby didn’t recognize said. 

“Yeah, you’re working with a lunatic,” another said, and Bobby recognized Sustan’s profile, mixed in the group. 

“Did he really _smell_ the body?” a detective asked. 

“Yep,” Sustan said, and a couple detectives and officers laughed. 

“That’s just _wrong_ , he said. “His mother was schizo, and I heard that his longest lasting partner, the one that’s a veggie now, that she nearly lost control on the stand at a trial trying to defend her partner.” A couple more guffaws. 

“Yeah, loony’s, all of ‘em, I mean why else would Eames want to stay with a guy like Goren, except maybe that women shouldn’t be cops? Yeah, maybe she’s got some wacked out sense of loyalty or someth…HEY!” 

Before anyone knew what was happening, Bobby’s fist was in the detective’s mouth, blocking those horrid words. 

“You want to take a shot at me, go ahead!” he screamed. “But DO NOT insult my mother, or my partner!” he yelled. The others managed to pry him off the detective, who was bloodied pretty badly. 

“Goren!” Ross yelled. His voice echoed across the bullpen. All eyes were on Bobby. Still seething, he marched up to Ross, not noticing the blood dripping down his face, or the bruises forming on his arms from where the others had dragged him off. 

“You are on suspension!” Ross barked. “Until you can get a handle on yourself!” Bobby slammed his badge and gun into Ross’s hands. He marched past all the staring eyes and gaping faces. 

“Bobby,” Mike asked when he walked by. 

“He took a shot at Eames, and my mother,” Bobby whispered. “It doesn’t matter to them that Eames was shot, or my mother’s dead, just that they must be nuts to stay with me,” Bobby said. 

“Bobby,” Mike said, not sure how to comfort his friend. 

“Maybe they’re right,” he whispered. 

“Don’t say that!” Mike said. 

Bobby marched right out of the squad, and onto the elevator. Mike was right behind, and got on as well. 

“She needs to get better,” Bobby said. “I…I can’t do this without her.” 

“Look man, it’s sad, and I wish it didn’t happen, but sometimes cops get shot,” Mike said as gently as he could. 

“She wasn’t just a cop!” Bobby yelled. “I loved her, and she loved me,” Bobby said. There, Mike knew. It wasn’t a secret anymore. 

“I’m sorry,” Mike said. 

Bobby’s tears started to drip down his face, falling fast. Mike reached out and awkwardly patted his arm. 

 

Bobby was sitting in a white plastic chair, holding Alex’s hand. It was so routine now. Mike was sitting with him, staring into space. 

“Have you seen Sally?” a small voice asked. 

Bobby and Mike spun around. “Who?’ Mike asked. 

“Do you mean Sally-Jean?” Bobby asked. 

“Yeah,” the little girl answered. The girl speaking was bald, and very pale. She had crystal blue eyes, and chapped lips. An IV ran up the sleeve of her pink housecoat. She was wearing bunny slippers, and another little girl was peeking out from behind her shoulder. The other girl had stringy brown hair, hanging in front of half her face. She had a yellowish complexion, and was wearing a white housecoat with a flower pattern. Her eyes were a dull hazel. 

“I haven’t seen her for a while,” Bobby answered. 

“She promised,” the girl in the pink said. 

“She’s probably with her boyfriend,” the other girl answered. 

“Bethany, Erika, have you left the paediatric ward again?” a large motherly nurse asked. 

“We were just heading back,” the girl in the white flower patterned housecoat said.

“No we were NOT,” the girl in pink announced. “WE were looking for Sally-Jean,” she said defiantly. 

“I’m sorry dears, I haven’t seen her today,” the nurse answered. 

“She promised to watch Arthur with us today!” the little girl pouted. 

“And I will,” a voice said behind them. 

“Sally!” both girls said and rushed toward her, to hug her around the middle. 

“You’re late,” the braver girl in pink said. 

“I’m not, the show’s not on until half-past,” Sally answered. 

“Then hurry up!” the girls said almost in unison. Sally-Jean grinned, and let herself be dragged down the hall. 

The nurse smiled. “Bethany and Erika are long-term residents. Bethany has leukemia, and Erika’s kidneys are failing. She’ll die within about a month without a transplant. Sally-Jean’s been volunteering here for a year, and the kids just love her,” the nurse said. “I better go make sure they made it back to the paediatric ward,” she said. 

“Wasn’t that the strange girl that’s been hanging around the ICU?” Mike asked. 

“Yeah, that’s her,” Bobby replied. He had noticed a new bruise starting to form on her jaw. The bruise on her cheek was already an ugly yellowish- green colour.


	7. Chapter 7

_Once again, Bobby had fallen asleep on the hard plastic chair. Since his suspension 3 days ago, he had hardly left his partner’s room. Though he was asleep, the darkness behind his eyelids was filled with nightmares. This was now also common. It was a nightmare he’d been having for a while now, Alex, smiling, laughing…then her smile faded, and now she was bleeding on the ground. Now she’s on the bed, her eyes are taped shut. Bobby knew that next she was going to sit up and send him down another guilt trip. He waited numbly for her to start screaming at him. Now what was that beeping noise? The heart monitor…NO! He wouldn’t let her die. “It’s just a dream, it’s just a dream”, he thought. He felt himself waking up…thank goodness_. Why wasn’t the beeping stopping? 

CODE BLUE, CODE BLUE, ROOM 310, SEND A CRASH TEAM, PAGEING DOCTOR MARSHALL, CODE BLUE, CODE BLUE, ROOM 310. 

It wasn’t a dream. Code blue, someone was dying. Room 310, Alex’s room. Alex was dying. She was really dying.

“ALEX, ALEX!” someone screamed. Bobby. He was screaming her name. “ALEX!” 

“Alexandra Eames don’t you dare die on me,” another voice said. Alex’s parents had just entered the room. 

“Out of my way sir,” a man said, and a group of people rushed into the room. Doctor Marshall was at the end, yelling instructions at the team. 

Time seemed to stand still. Bobby, and Alex’s parents, all holding hands, screaming, sobbing. 

_“She’s not responding…shock her. CLEAR! Try again…CLEAR!”_

Beeeeeeeep…beep, beep, beep…

Her heart had started. Alex wasn’t dying. Her heart had started. 

White-faced, Penelope Eames threw herself at her daughter, sobbing. “You can’t die,” she gasped. “I won’t ever give up on you again,” she whispered. “I’m not ready to lose you.”  
Still numb, Bobby turned to leave Alex with her parents. He then glared at the offending figure in the doorway. Sally-Jean was watching. 

Maybe it was lack of sleep, getting suspended, Sustan, lack of food, stress, who knows, but as he stared at Sally, Bobby felt anger course through his body. He didn’t notice the horrified expression on her face.

“Why are you always here?” Bobby demanded. 

“I’m not,” she answered. 

“Alex was dying, and you were just standing there and watching!” he accused.

“What exactly would you suggest I could have done?” she demanded. 

“You have no idea what it’s like, to watch and know there’s nothing to do, and you’re always here watching and being annoying and rude and nosy, you have no respect for what we’re going through!” he half whispered, half shouted. 

Sally-Jean’s eyes flashed. “You have no idea what I know or don’t know Robert Goren,” she spat. 

“How could you?” Bobby demanded.

Sally just shook her head. “I can see that you care for your partner, but I was hoping that he was just being an ass when he told me about you,” she snapped. 

“Who told you what?” he asked. 

Rolling her eyes, Sally-Jean turned and marched towards the other end of the hall. 

“What are you talking about?” Bobby demanded, grabbing her arm. 

Sally-Jean reached into her pocket, and slammed something cold into his hand. 

“He gave me this,” Sally-Jean said. “You’d better watch yourself.” 

With that, she turned on her heel and stalked away. Looking down at his hand, Bobby saw a shell casing. He stared at it. She had also given him a note. 

_Sally,_  
Please take care of this for me. I don’t want that cop to find it. Robert Goren is smart for a screw-up. I’m begging you not to tell anyone about this. It might be a lot to ask, but please don’t tell anyone.  
Sincerely,  
Mark McKellen 

By the time he looked up, Sally-Jean was gone. 

 

“She knows something,” Bobby said, after showing Mike the shell casing. Mike read the note, shaking his head. 

“I can’t believe she knew this all along!” Mike said. “How does she know McKellen anyway?” 

Bobby walked over to his computer. He opened a search engine, searching all records, for criminal, student, missing persons, open homicides, any record at all. 

**Search: Randall, Sally-Jean**  
Loading…  
Search Results: No results found for Randall, Sally-Jean 

“I guess there’s no record of her anywhere,” Mike said. Bobby frowned, and then tried birth records. 

**Search: Randall, Sally-Jean**  
Loading…  
Search Results: No results found for Randall, Sally-Jean 

Not even a birth record,” Bobby said. 

“Maybe it’s a fake name?” Mike guessed. Frowning, Bobby tried expanding his search to include Canada. 

“You think she’s illegal?” Mike asked. “It’s just an idea,” Bobby replied, hoping to find some way to locate the strange girl, searching the same records as the first time. 

**Search: Randall, Sally-Jean**  
Loading…  
Search Results: Randall, Steven James  
Randall, Norma-Jean  
Randall, Sally-Jean 

“Found you,” Bobby muttered. Then he took a closer look. Randall, Norma-Jean…could the name similarity be coincidence? He decided to try all of them. 

**Randall, Steven James  
Case Report: Thirty-two-year-old Steven James Randall was found dead in his hospital room by Amanda Harding, a day nurse, February 25, 2002. He had been a coma patient for 2 years before the death. All the tubes and wires were yanked away. All needles were ripped from his arms. He died within 5 minutes. No suspects were ever questioned, and Randall’s wife (Norma-Jean Randall) and daughter (Sally-Jean Randall) disappeared the same day. **

**Randall, Norma-Jean  
Case Report: Thirty-year-old Norma-Jean Randall disappeared about the same time her husband (Steven James Randall) was found dead, February 25, 2002. She was reported missing by her doctor, Dr. Jasper Handler. Handler is a physiatrist who specialises in schizophrenia. Mrs. Randall had been a patient for 2 years. As far as anyone can tell, her and her daughter (Sally-Jean Randall) left quickly, and without a struggle. Officials are unsure of where Mrs. Randall could have gone, as she had no family or friends that anyone knew of. Mrs. Randall would be 35-years-old if she is still alive. **

**Randall, Sally-Jean  
Case Report: Nine-year-old Sally-Jean Randall and her mother (Norma-Jean Randall) disappeared shortly after her father (Steven James Randall) was suspiciously murdered on February 25, 2002. She abruptly stopped going to her public school the same day her father was murdered. Her teachers say she hadn’t mentioned any family or close friends that she could have moved in with. Sally-Jean would be 14-years-old if she is still alive.**

The picture, not including the pictures of the crime scene, was the same for each report: A man, with his arm around a woman. A young girl was between them, grinning. The man had dirty blonde hair. His eyes were bright blue. He had an easy smile, showing his teeth. The beginning of a beard was starting on his face. He was wearing a loose red T-shirt. His face radiated with happiness. 

The woman had shoulder-length brown hair. Even though she was only 28 in the picture, there were worry lines around her eyes, and on her forehead. She had deep hazel eyes. Her nose was almost as perfect as if she’d had plastic surgery done. She was wearing a delicate shade of pink lipstick. Her pink blouse fit so that it showed how well proportioned she was. 

The girl in the picture was Sally-Jean, when she was 7 years old. Her long brown hair was in pigtails, with pink and purple ribbons tied around them. Her hair, nose, mouth, all the features of her face was the same as her mother. Except her bright blue eyes, they were the same bright blue as her father. She was wearing a jean jumper, with a pink turtleneck underneath. 

All 3 were smiling, they looked so happy. Who would know that Steven Randall would soon be in a coma, and Norma-Jean would be a mental patient? Who would know that Sally-Jean would soon have to raise herself, to pick up the pieces, just like Bobby had, when his mother got sick? The family didn’t even take any more pictures after Steven went into a coma. Like life stopped after he left, and the mother and daughter were trapped in a nightmare. 

Bobby now saw Sally-Jean in a new way. She had almost the same life as he did. At seven years old her father was gone, and her mother was gone too, though in a different way. Sally-Jean didn’t have anyone else to turn to. No wonder she was strange. She had to grow up at 7 years old. She had to be the parent. From what Bobby figured, Sally-Jean had been brought to a strange country, forced into a new school, and now her father was dead. Her mother was unable to help her with anything. The only thing he couldn’t figure out was how she was connected to the man that had taken his partner away from him, the man he hated more than anyone else in the entire world.  
He opened the search engine, desperate to find a connection between McKellen and Sally-Jean. He started searching criminal records. 

**Search: McKellen, Mark**  
Loading…  
McKellen, Mark- drunken disorderly, Driving under the influence  
McKellen Matthew- juvenile record 

Bobby studied the page. Not one serious offence committed by Mark McKellen, not even harassment. His record only showed that he was stupid when it came to drinking. The juvenile record caught Bobby’s interest. 

**Matthew McKellen: Juvenile record for- 2 counts of assault, 3 counts of harassment, 2 counts sexual harassment. Details in records sealed.**

Bobby stared. Matthew McKellen seemed to have more of a record of violence than Mark McKellen. He quickly began to search public records.

**Search: McKellen, Matthew**  
Loading…  
Matthew McKellen:  
Full name: Matthew McKellen  
Age: 20 years  
Birthday: 29/08/87  
Height: 5’10  
Weight: 180 lbs.  
Hair Colour: Dark Brown  
Eye Colour: Grey

“Maybe Sally-Jean knows Matthew, not McKellen,” Bobby said. 

“Then why did McKellen give Sally-Jean the note?” Mike asked.

Bobby frowned. "I don’t know, but I’m going to find out." 

“Where are you going?” Mike demanded as Bobby took long strides towards the elevator. 

“To the hospital,” Bobby answered. “All the doctors and nurses seem to love her, and someone must know where she lives. Even if they don’t, that’s probably the best place to find her,” he said.

 

First Bobby explored the ICU. There was no sign of Sally-Jean. Then he headed to the paediatric ward. He peeked in a giant room and saw, toys, and a television, big comfy looking couches, and armchairs. There were kids watching Barney, kids reading picture books, kids playing board games, and some kids playing dress-up in the corner. He recognised Bethany and Erika, playing with another little girl that was also bald, and had an IV. They were playing with dolls. Bobby turned to go, but Bethany saw him. 

“Hey!” she yelled. “I saw you yesterday!” Erika, and a couple other kids turned to look at him. “Are you looking for someone?” she yelled across the room. 

Bobby walked in, and over to the group of 3 little girls. “I was looking for Sally-Jean, have you seen her?” Bobby asked. 

The girls looked at each other and shook their heads. 

“Nope,” Bethany said, “But you can play dolls with me, Erika, and Melissa!”

“No thanks, maybe some other time,” Bobby answered. 

“Pretty please?” Bethany asked. Erika watched with hopeful eyes, but Melissa watched with open curiosity, a look of interest on her face. 

“I’m sorry I have to go,” Bobby answered. 

Mike walked up to the group, standing next to Bobby. 

“Who’s your friend?” Bethany asked. The other two were obviously used to letting Bethany do the talking. 

“This is Mike,” Bobby said.

“I’m Bethany, this is Erika, and this is Melissa, you can play dolls with us too,” Bethany said indicating each girl and then the dolls.

“We’ve got to go,” Bobby said. 

“Why are you looking for Sally?” Melissa asked. Her warm violet eyes surveyed them both carefully. 

Bobby glanced at Mike. “We just want to talk to her,” he said.

Melissa nodded. “I can give you her phone number,” she said. She reached into her pocket, and pulled out a piece of paper, with a number and Sally-Jean’s name in neat script on it. 

“You don’t need it anymore?” Bobby asked. Melissa smiled. 

“I have it memorized,” she replied. 

“Thank you,” Bobby said. All three girls smiled at him. 

“Anyway, it’s lunch time!” Bethany said, and all three picked up baby bottles to continue their game. Bobby felt Melissa’s eyes watch him leave.

 

Bobby and Mike stood outside the door to the hospital guest entrance. 

_Hey this is Sally-Jean. I can’t come to the phone right now, leave a message!_

“Sally, it’s Bobby, call me back at-“

“Bobby,” her voice said. 

“You’re home,” he stated.

“You must enjoy stating the obvious,” she answered. “I just waited to hear who was calling before I answered,” she said. 

“I need to talk to you,” Bobby said. “Can you meet me at the hospital?” he asked.

“Give me an hour,” she replied.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay.” Click.

Mike’s phone rang. “Logan. Okay, I’ll be there. Bye.”

“I’ve got to go,” he apologized.

Bobby nodded. Mike walked away, to catch a cab to 1PP. Bobby wandered back into the hospital, and up the stairs, to his partner’s room. He couldn’t take the elevator. He couldn’t stand being around people anymore. You just never know what might happen.


	8. Chapter Eight

Bobby saw that Alex’s parents were still in her room. He turned to go, but Penelope saw him. 

“Bobby,” she said. 

With a sigh, he turned around and went into room 310. 

“Thank you,” Penelope said.

“For what?” he asked.

“For not giving up on my daughter,” she answered. “Not even in the moment that she was first…shot, you didn’t give up, and I can’t thank you enough for that,” she said. 

“I could have prevented it, I’m the reason she was shot,” Bobby answered dully. 

“No Bobby,” she answered. “You saved her. If you hadn’t slowed the bleeding…she would have bled out on the scene,” she said.

“I stopped the bleeding?” Bobby asked. “I did something?”

“Yes, don’t you remember?” she asked, confused. Bobby shook his head.

“The doctors said that you’re the reason she’s alive,” Penelope said. 

“I don’t remember,” Bobby answered. 

“You were in shock, son,” John said. “It’s common to forget what you did.” 

“I just remember being scared,” Bobby said. 

“We have other news,” John said.

“What?” Bobby asked wearily.

“Doctor Marshall said that when most patients code, their stats drop,” John said. “But Alex’s went right back up, and apparently they kept on rising,” John said. Bobby stared, hoping against hope that he understood what John was saying. “She’s going to wake up Bobby,” John said. “She’s going to wake up.” 

_Alex,_ Bobby thought, _you never cease to amaze me._

 

Bobby sat holding his partner’s hand. He was happier than he’d been for a long time. He sat, watching, almost as if she would wake up any moment. Of course, it could take months, but still the fact that she was waking up had given him back his hope. There was also the possibility that she would have brain damage, but Bobby was ready for anything. Or so he thought at this happy moment. 

“Bobby?” a girl whispered. 

“Sally,” he answered. 

“Is this a bad time, ‘cause I can come back later,” she said.

“No, it’s fine,” he said, and reluctantly let go of his partner’s hand. “Let’s go to the cafeteria.”

 

Bobby sat, facing Sally-Jean across the table. His hands gripped each other tightly, while she was wringing her hands nervously under the table. 

“You came,” he said.

“I want to help,” she answered. 

“You never told me about your past,” Bobby said. 

She looked surprised for a moment, but her face was quickly covered by a mask. 

“You checked up on me,” she whispered. “Are you going to deport me?” she asked. 

This thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. He hadn’t even really considered that she was illegal, not since Mike fist asked. 

“Not at the moment,” he answered. 

“Thanks,” she replied. 

“So, how do you know McKellen?” Bobby asked. 

“We hang together,” she answered. 

“I thought you wanted to help?” Bobby asked, hearing the sarcasm in her voice. 

Sally-Jean shrugged. “I just can’t answer that question,” she said. 

“Did you know he was going to shoot my partner Sally?” Bobby asked, his voice shaking slightly. “Did you know he killed those women?” 

“I didn’t know he was going to shoot your partner, and I couldn’t prove that he had killed those women,” she whispered. 

“You could have told the police your suspicions,” Bobby said.

“I couldn’t risk being deported,” she answered. 

“Why, you’d miss all the people at the hospital?” Bobby asked. 

“There’s nothing left at home,” Sally answered. “There’s a young couple living there now, they just had a baby girl,” she said. “My school was closed down, and my teacher’s dead. There’s nothing left there.”

“Where’s your mother?” Bobby asked. He needed to get a good reading on Sally-Jean if he was going to get to the bottom of her connection to McKellen.

“Safe,” Sally answered. 

“What happened to her?” Bobby asked. 

“Why all these questions?” Sally asked. “Why the trip down memory lane?” 

Bobby shrugged. I just want to get to know you better,” he said. 

“You’re profiling me,” she said. “I’ve been trying to get a read on you too, and I just can’t figure you out,” she said. “Your Dad was anything but, you’re Mom lost it when you were young, your brother, let’s not even go there, and though you have one of the highest case-closure rates, no other cop trusts you. Except for your partner. Why? How come you’re so smart, and yet so strange? How come you have few close friends, but the one’s you do have, you trust and care for fully, you cling to them so tightly? You’re anything but ordinary Bobby.” 

It really shouldn’t surprise him that she did this. She had been trying to figure him out ever since she met him, for as long as he’d been trying to figure her out. But he had no choice. She knew something, and he had to find out what.

“Sally-Jean,” he said. “If you want to help, please, just tell me what you know.” 

“All I know is that there’s monsters in the world Bobby, monsters that I fear more than you, she said. 

Her sentenced sparked a memory, buried deep somewhere in his mind. Suddenly, he knew where he had first seen Sally-Jean. 

_Bobby sat in his mother’s room, waiting for her to get back from lunch. He sat quietly, hoping that it was a good day for her. Hearing a scuffling, he turned to his mother’s roommate’s bed. A little pink shoe had just disappeared under the bed. He went over, and lay down on the floor, peeking under the bed. A small body was curled under the bed, a little girl, with long brown hair covering her face. She was wearing a pink sweater, with a butterfly on it. Her jeans were ripped in one knee, and the hole had strings attaching the two sides. Her pink shoes were scuffed at the toes, and socks that had once been white, were now an almost grey colour, a little bit of lace hanging off the top. Pushing her hair back from her face, she stared at Bobby. Bright blue eyes shot open wide with fear._

_“It’s all right,” Bobby whispered. “What’s your name?”_

_“I’m not allowed to talk to strangers,” she replied._

_“That’s a good rule, but I just want to help,” he said._

_“Please don’t tell the doctors I’m here, they’ll send me away,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes._

_“Why are you under the bed?” he asked._

_“I’m hiding from the monsters, until Mommy comes back,” she replied._

_“I thought the monsters are under the bed?” Bobby asked._

_“If you mean those pretend things with long teeth that roar at sleeping children, that’s just pretend” she told him. “Everyone knows the really scary monsters hide in people’s heads,” she told him, with the authority of a child that knows she’s right._

_“Why would the doctors send you away?” Bobby asked._

_“They send me to a big place, with lots of kids, and they send me to foster homes. I keep running away, but when the doctors find me they always send me back. I need to stay with Mommy.”_

_After looking closer at the little girl, he saw that she did look a lot like his mother’s roommate._

_“My name’s Bobby, what’s yours?” he asked._

_She opened her mouth to reply, but another voice interrupted._

_“Mr. Goren? Why are you on the floor?”_

_“Oh no,” the little girl whispered, scooting into the far corner._

_The doctor knelt by Bobby’s side. “Back again?” he asked sadly, when he sighted the shaking child._

_“Please, I need to stay with my Mommy,” she begged. The doctor ignored her, reaching under the bed to pull her out by the arm._

_“No! Mommy!” the girl shrieked kicking and crying as he threw her over his shoulder to carry her out._

_“Bobby!” she yelled. “Please make him let me stay! Help! Please! I need to stay with Mommy!”_

_It tore at Bobby’s heart as the doctor took the little girl away, but he knew that she was better off. His mother’s roommate was even more paranoid than his mother, and was almost always trapped in a delusion. He could still hear her cries when his mother, complaining about the food, came in._

_He had asked before leaving, who the little girl was. They said that it was probably the woman’s daughter, but they didn’t know her name, and she never told anyone. Supposedly they had found her and sent her to child services over five times, but she kept running away and coming back. He never saw her again._

“Bobby? Hey you’re spacing out on me,” Sally said, drawing Bobby back to the present.

“Take my card,” Bobby said, handing it to her. “Call me if you want to talk.”

“Yeah, sure,” she said, but he didn’t miss her carefully pocketing it. 

 

“Goren,” Bobby said into his phone.

“Goren, this is Captain Ross. If you’re ready to hold it together, I’m ready for you to return to work.”

“I won’t work with Sustan,” Bobby said. 

“We sent Sustan back to his unit 3 days ago,” Ross said. “We have someone else here instead.”

“Who?” Bobby asked.

“I think you remember Carolyn Barek?” Ross asked.

“Yes,” Bobby said.

“We’re borrowing her until Eames returns, or other arrangements are made,” he said.

Bobby inwardly smiled. He liked working with Carolyn; he had worked with her briefly a couple years ago, when all 4 detectives worked a case together. In fact, they had all become friends, and he knew that Carolyn could work with him, and would be understanding. 

“When can I come in?” Bobby asked.

“Tomorrow, same time as usual,” Ross said.

“Right. Thanks captain.”


	9. Chapter Nine

Bobby walked into work, for the first time in a long time. It seemed like a century ago that he had beaten the other detective, and gotten suspended. Still, if he ever saw Bert Sustan again…well he just hoped that he wouldn’t. 

“Bobby,” he heard a familiar voice say. Carolyn Barek rushed toward her former colleague, and to his surprise, she threw her arms around his neck. 

“I’ve missed you guys so much,” she said. “I heard a cop was shot, but I didn’t know,” she whispered. “If I had known it was Alex…” she trailed off, tears starting to fill her eyes. “I’m so sorry Bobby,” she said. 

“It’s okay,” Bobby said, wrapping his arms around her too. He had forgotten how it felt to hug someone. He hadn’t, not since Alex had went onto a coma. Other than Mike, he hadn’t really even really talked to anyone, not any friendly conversations anyway. 

“I’m glad you’re the one who’s coming to work here,” Bobby said. 

“Me too,” Carolyn replied, smiling. 

“Carolyn?” Mike asked, walking towards the two detectives. 

“Mike!” she cried, joy radiating off her face at the sight of her former partner. She let go of Bobby, and ran towards Mike, and Bobby thought she was going to hug Mike too, but she seemed to stop herself, and settled for beaming at him instead. 

Bobby smiled at his friends. This was what it was like for him and Alex at first. Easy friendship, but don’t get too close. Until they realized that they were already too close. When they stopped fighting it, and just let their friendship grow into love, that was when Bobby had felt the most at peace, the happiest. He longed for her, as he watched Mike and Carolyn talking. He longed for her night and day, but times like this were harder. 

“Goren, welcome back,” Ross said. “I expect absolute professionalism from you, got it?” he asked. 

“Yes sir,” Bobby answered. 

“Logan and Wheeler, get to work. Goren and Barek, head to apartment 2C in an apartment that’s falling apart, about 20 minutes from here. I’ve sent the address to your GPS.” 

Bobby and Carolyn headed out of the building, both happier than they had been in a long time, though the shadow of Alex Eames hung over them both. 

 

“He wasn’t kidding when he said this place was falling apart,” Bobby said. He and Carolyn stood outside an apartment building with broken windows, and a door that was waving in the wind. 

“So why’d we get this one?” Carolyn asked.

“Some politician’s son was in here, apparently meeting a hooker, but when she got here he was dead,” Bobby answered. 

“Let’s go question the hooker,” Carolyn said. 

 

“Look I just found a dead guy and called you cops, I don’t know nothing,” the hooker said. 

“Miss, were you here to, umm, see Mr. Michael’s?” Carolyn asked. 

The hooker tossed her hair over her shoulder before saying “Maybe.” 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Carolyn said. 

“Look, I saw the guy was dead, and I called you cops; that counts for something right?” she asked. 

“Yes, it means we’re not going to bring you in,” Bobby said. He handed her his card. “Call if you think of something else,” he said. 

“Uh-huh,” she replied. “Can I go now?” 

“Yes, but don’t go far,” Carolyn replied. They had her phone number, though it was probably fake, and her name, which was obviously fake, but they knew that if they really needed to talk to her again, they could find her. 

“So, Moonbeam Night knows nothing,” Carolyn said, referring to the hooker. 

“Yeah,” Bobby answered, going over to investigate the body. 

 

“Bobby?” Carolyn asked as he went to leave. 

“Yes?” Bobby said questioningly. 

“I was wondering if it would be okay for me to come with you to see Alex today,” Carolyn said in a rush.

“That’s fine,” Bobby replied.

 

Bobby heard a sharp intake of breath as he and Carolyn entered room 310. He turned around and tried to smile comfortingly at Carolyn, though he probably failed miserably. It didn’t matter though anyway because Carolyn’s eyes were locked on her friend’s motionless body. 

Bobby walked forward, to take Alex’s hand in his, the only comfort he could offer. Carolyn walked up slowly and cautiously, lowering herself in the hard plastic chair that Bobby usually occupied. 

“I hate that she has to be like this,” Carolyn whispered. 

“I know,” Bobby said. “She would be angry about it too.” 

“I can’t look at her this way,” Carolyn said tearfully, looking away. 

“It’s all right to be sad, and angry,” Bobby said. He was too, but the worst part was, this was normal now; a day at work, visiting Alex, eating supper, and then coming back until visiting hours were over. It shouldn’t be like this, it shouldn’t be normal. He should be as horror- struck as Carolyn when he walked in, but he wasn’t, because he saw this every day.

Footsteps announced that someone else had entered the room. “I need to check Ms. Eames’s vitals, so if you wouldn’t mind…” the doctor let his sentence trail away. 

“Doctor Marshall,” Bobby said, nodding his head in greeting, while backing away from Alex. 

Dr. Marshall began taking Alex’s blood pressure, and checking the monitors around her bed. 

“Don’t nurses usually check vitals?” Carolyn asked. Bobby suddenly realized that it was odd for a doctor to do daily routine checks himself. 

“Since Ms. Eames started improving, I’ve been checking her brain activity myself every day, always waiting for a sign that she’s coming back to us,” Dr. Marshall answered. “Let me show you,” he said, picking up Alex’s charts. “This is her brain activity after her first week here,” he explained, pointing at an almost flat line on a chart. “This is today’s,” he said, pointing at the line with many more waves. 

“What does it tell you?” Bobby asked.

“Now keep in mind this isn’t an exact science, and doctors have been wrong before,” he said, “I’d say that in a matter of weeks, days or even hours she could wake up. But also remember,” he said seeing the delight in both detective’s faces, “We have no idea what permanent damage has been done.” 

 

“I can’t believe you go and see her every day, and you just learned to ignore all those wires and tubes and everything that’s wrong,” Carolyn said. 

“I’m used to it,” Bobby answered. 

“Right,” Carolyn said. “See you tomorrow.”

Bobby saw that they had walked to what must be her apartment. “Bye,” he said.

 

_Ring. Ring. “I’m sleeping,” Bobby thought. Ring._ Ring. “Insistent, aren’t you,” Bobby muttered, picking up his phone. 

“Goren,” he mumbled.

“Bobby, it's John Eames," the man said. 

“Mr. Eames, is there any change?” Bobby asked, suddenly wide awake. 

“Yes, she woke up 10 minutes ago,” John answered tiredly. 

“Isn’t that good?” Bobby asked, hearing the sadness in John’s voice. 

“Yes, it is,” he answered.

“Then what’s wrong?” Bobby asked. 

“Bobby, she – doesn’t – remember – a – thing,” John spat. 

Bobby felt like the world was falling out from under him, while the sky caved in. She didn’t remember anything. She wouldn’t know him. She wouldn’t know Bobby. For a moment, Bobby thought his heart had stopped beating. 

“Bobby?” John asked. But Bobby had hung up the phone, and was heading to the hospital. He had to see it with his own eyes to believe that it wasn’t just a dream.


	10. Chapter 20

“Bobby,” John said seeing him come around the corner. 

“Is it true?” Bobby asked. 

“Doctor Marshall is coming down to talk to us right now,” Penny Eames said. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Eames?” Doctor Marshall asked. “Mr. Goren,” he said seeing Bobby as well. 

“Tell us what’s happening,” Penny said. 

“Well, after severe head trauma, there can be many changes to the patient. Brain damage is one of them, but Detective Eames is out of the woods for that. She has all her motor function, though she has lost some of her hearing, we expect she’ll fully recover from that. There’s also memory loss; this is common in all victims of head trauma. Most people don’t ever regain the memory of the accident, or the minutes surrounding it. Her short-term memory will be bad, for the first few weeks for sure, like if you talk to her, leave for 5 minutes, and come back again; she won’t remember you visiting before. Some patients only lose a couple of years, but some, like Detective Eames, lose all their memories. Many do gain their memory back, but many don’t. It all depends on the patient. Also, expect mood swings, Detective Eames will not be normal. Some people say it’s like they don’t even know the person, but if you hang tight, she might get to know you again, get back to normal, and have her life back. But she’ll need all the help she can get,” he finished. 

 

Bobby felt like his head was spinning. He also felt like he was walking through water, he could hardly get his limbs to move, walking to room 310. Alex’s parents had visited the night before, but since he wasn’t family, he had to wait until visiting hours the next day. Taking a deep breath, he walked into Alex’s room. 

“Alex?” he asked.

Alex was sitting up, her arms wrapped around herself, and was staring at the wall, looking dazed. She turned at the sound of her name.

“Are you another doctor?” she asked, her words slurred, like she’d had too much to drink, and she was talking slowly. 

“No,” Bobby said, trying not to show his pain that she didn’t remember him. “We work together, and …we’re good friends,” he explained.

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember,” she said. She turned away from him. 

“I was just wondering how you’re doing,” he asked. 

“I have a…bad headache,” she said. “But other than that I’m fine, oh except the fact that I can’t remember anything,” she answered sarcastically. 

Unsure of what to say, Bobby just looked at her. He had dreamed of this moment for so long, but it was ruined by the fact that she wasn’t herself; hell she didn’t even know who she was. 

“Why are you still here?” she demanded. Bobby stared, not knowing how to respond. “I told you I don’t remember you, why are you still here? Go away,” she said. “Just go away and leave me alone.” 

Bobby obeyed, backing slowly out of the room, and then turning to run away, just run away from the woman he loved, because there was nothing else he could do. 

“There is no running in the halls!” someone barked as Bobby fled the ICU. He ignored them, bursting through the stairs door. He sat down in the stairwell, utterly alone. Leaning his head against the wall, he shuddered with sobs hat he refused to release. 

_She told me to go away. She doesn’t know me; I’m a stranger to her. She told me to go away._

“Bobby?” Penny Eames asked as she came up the stairs, seeing him crumpled against the wall. 

He sat up, and tried not to look as bad as he felt. Apparently he didn’t do this very well, because she looked concerned. 

“What are you doing sitting here alone in the stairwell?” she asked him. He shrugged, not really wanting to talk to her. 

“It is hard, she doesn’t want anything to do with us either Bobby,” she said. “She doesn’t personally not like you, but she doesn’t know us, we have to help her remember,” she told him. 

“And if she doesn’t ever remember?” Bobby asked. 

Penny sat down slowly next to Bobby, and took one of his hands in hers. “Then we’re going to have to make new memories with her, show her that we still care,” Penny replied. 

Bobby sighed. It took too much energy to pretend to be cheerful when he just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep away the pain. Penny saw the defeat in his eyes, and tried a different approach.

“You know Bobby, when I first saw Alex, when she was in a coma, I was so angry, and sad, and scared, all at once,” she said. “I tried blaming my husband, for making her want to be a cop, I blamed Alex, for becoming a cop, and for not being careful, but mostly I blamed myself for not stopping her,” Penny said sadly. “I guess I thought if I had someone to blame, it would make everything better,” she said. “I yelled at John so much that I actually made him cry. I went to Alex’s room, and I’m lucky that I didn’t hurt her,” Penny said, tears staring to leak from her eyes. “I grabbed her, and shook her, screaming at her to wake up, I just kept shaking her, and shaking her, and screaming, and screaming…” she trailed off. “That’s when I realized that nothing I did would make her come back, so I thought that maybe it would be better if I let her go, but once again, I found out the hard way that I was just being irrational,” she said. “So now, I’m trying to hold strong, to be better than I’ve been this whole time,” she said. 

“…I saw her doing something else really bad…” Sally-Jean had seen Penny shaking Alex. 

“Have you been talking to a teenaged girl, brown hair and blue eyes?” Bobby asked. 

“Yes, Sally-Jean has helped me see that all I can do is be strong, to help Alex pull through,” she said. “Why?” 

“I’ve been talking to her too,” Bobby said. “And I was wondering if you knew anything about her?” he asked. 

“She doesn’t talk about herself, I just assumed she has a family member in the hospital,” Penny said. “Why?” she asked again.

“No reason, I just wanted to know more about her…”

Penny nodded. “Well, I’m off,” she said, picking up a large leather-bound book that Bobby hadn’t noticed she had before. 

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Alex’s scrapbook,” Penny replied. “You could make one too, Doctor Marshall says that it might help trigger her memory,” she said. 

“Thanks, I just might,” Bobby said. 

“You’re welcome,” she replied, and got up and started to walk up the stairs. 

“And Penny,” he said. She turned around. “Thanks.” She smiled, and continued up the stairs, and through the door. 

 

Bobby sat at home, leafing through a box of photos. There were some old family pictures first, and they continued in order from there. He flipped forward to the year he was first partnered with Alex. The first picture was Alex and him, both looking extremely uncomfortable. It was taken after their first day working together. He placed it in the first slot of the photo album he got from the dollar store on the way home. 

The next photo was one he had taken while they were working; he was in the middle of trying to get a woman to hand over some pictures; neither detective was smiling, and Bobby placed in the next slot of the photo album. 

He flipped through some other pictures before he found one of the Major   
Case Squad after Mike and Carolyn had joined. Alex and Bobby were smiling, while Mike and Carolyn looked more like they wanted to bolt. Bobby laughed, and added the picture to the album. 

He found more pictures, him and Alex at a cop bar, toasting the end of a really hard case. He found pictures of him and Alex, in their clearing in the forest. There was one of both of them, then a couple of her, the next one was her hand, reaching for the camera, and then Bobby attempting to block himself from view, until the last couple of pictures were him laughing. 

Bobby placed each one carefully into the album, holding back tears. 

 

Bobby walked into work after he put the photo album together. Ross had given him the morning off when he told him the news. 

“Bobby,” Carolyn said, walking up to him, her eyes filled with sorrow. 

“Morning,” he replied, avoiding her gaze. 

“Look Bobby, I heard about Alex, and I don’t know what I can say to try and make it better…” she trailed off, unnerved by the lack of emotion in her temporary partner’s face. 

“Where are we on the Michael’s case?” Bobby asked, his tone flat. He had already spent all his emotion that morning, and had none left for Carolyn. 

“Well, we’ve ruled out all the hotel staff, and questioned the mother and father, they don’t know anything,” Carolyn said, still watching Bobby for some hint of emotion. 

“Right, so we question his work associates now,” Bobby muttered. He got up, and wandered out of the room. 

“Umm, Bobby, your coat?” Carolyn asked. 

Without responding, Bobby turned around, grabbed his coat and continued towards the elevator. Grabbing her coat, Carolyn followed.

 

“So, he had a girlfriend,” Carolyn said after walking into the squad room. One of his associates had mentioned a woman coming to meet him after work. Bobby nodded in agreement. Walking up to his computer, he opened the search engine. 

**Search: Jenna White**  
Loading…   
Search Results: Jennifer White  
Jenifer White  
Jenny White 

Bobby opened the first one, looking at the driver’s licence. 

“Jennifer White’s the girlfriend,” he said. 

“How do you know?” Carolyn asked. Bobby pointed at the screen. When Carolyn looked at the picture, ‘Moonbeam Night’ looked back at her. 

 

Carolyn knocked on Jenna White’s door. 

“Who is it?” Jenna asked. 

“Police,” Carolyn answered. “Open the door.”

The door opened a crack. “Oh, it’s you,” she answered. The door opened all the way. “Come in.”

The detectives followed Jenna into the house. 

“You had a personal relationship with Mr. Michaels,” Carolyn stated. 

“Yes,” she answered. 

“Why didn’t you tell us that when we first spoke to you?” Carolyn asked. 

“Who would believe a prostitute?” Jenna replied with a question. 

“So that’s a night job,” Carolyn stated. Jenna nodded. 

“I needed the money,” she said. “Jason knew what I was doing, and he said it was fine, so long as I got tested for STD’s regularly,” she said. 

“He had money, why didn’t he lend you some?” Carolyn asked. 

“He said he needed to know that I loved him and not his money, he doesn’t trust most hookers,” she replied, embarrassed. 

While Carolyn was questioning Jenna, Bobby was looking around the room. There was only 3 framed photos around the room, one of her and Jason Michaels, another of her and another young woman, and one of a man, a woman and a little girl, probably Jenna as a child. The walls were an off-white colour, and the whole living room was plain. She had one couch and one armchair in the room, both old and tattered and stained. There was a pillow and blankets on the couch, as if she had been sleeping there. She seemed to really be a woman hard in her luck, doing all she could to afford to rent her ratty apartment and keep buying groceries. 

“Thank you, that’s everything,” Bobby said, and left. Carolyn nodded at Jenna before heading out after Bobby. 

“I don’t think she did it,” Bobby said. 

“Why?” Carolyn asked. 

“I think she really cared for him,” Bobby answered. Carolyn shrugged and lengthened her step to keep up with Bobby. She trusted his judgement, but thought he might be a little off lately, and kept Jenna the hooker on her list, having a little harder time seeing past her night job. 

 

“Can you drop me off at the hospital?” Bobby asked. 

“You’re not going back to work?” Carolyn asked. 

“The work day is over,” Bobby replied. Technically it was, but he usually stayed after work. Carolyn drove to the hospital, trying not to be uncomfortable in the silence. 

 

When they got to the hospital, Carolyn parked, and got out with Bobby. “I want to see her too,” Carolyn explained when Bobby looked at her questioningly. 

The two walked up to room 310. Bobby poked his head in. The bed was made, and empty. Confused, Bobby went to the nurse’s station. “Alexandra Eames isn’t in her room, do you know where she is?” he asked. The nurse flipped open a binder, and started checking the pages.

“Alexandra Eames had been moved to the recovery ward, room 105,” the nurse replied. 

“Thank you,” Bobby said. 

 

Alex was looking at Dr. Marshall, thoroughly disgusted. 

“I know you think this is pointless, but we need to see what you remember,” he said. 

Alex turned at the sound of Bobby and Carolyn coming in. 

“Have you come to save me?” she asked. 

“Nope, sorry,” Carolyn replied. 

“We just came to visit, but we’ll wait until Dr. Marshall is done,” Bobby added. 

She turned her attention back to the doctor, frowning. 

He held up a card, with a picture of an apple on it. “What’s this?” he asked. 

“Apple."

“Banana.” He held up another. 

“Grapes.” 

“And they are all____?” he asked. 

“Fruits,” she replied. It was clear she had been tested like this before. 

He held up a picture of a dog. 

“Dog,” she said. He held up another. 

“Cat,” she said. 

“And they are both___?”

“Animals,” she sighed. 

He held up letters spelling, pig, in large letters. 

“Letters,” she said. 

“Yes, but what do they say?” Dr. Marshall said. 

“A word?” she tried. 

“And what does the word say?” Dr Marshall asked. She glared at him.

“Why are you trying to trick me!” she demanded. 

“No one’s trying to trick you, we just want to see what you remember,” Dr Marshall soothed. This had no affect on Alex. 

“I don’t know okay?” she spat. She grabbed a cup full of water and threw it against the wall, with a splat. 

“That’s fine we’ll continue tomorrow,” Dr. Marshall said. Alex looked deliberately away from him, like an angry child. 

Dr. Marshall left, leaving Bobby and Carolyn with Alex. 

“Hi Alex,” Bobby said gently. She turned to look at him. 

“I brought a photo album, I thought you might want to look at it,” he said. Her expression brightened, and she nodded. 

Bobby walked over and sat next to her on the bed. He pulled out the photo album he had made that morning. He heard Carolyn’s footsteps as she left, wanting to leave them alone. Bobby silently thanked her. 

Bobby opened the album to the first picture. 

“Who is that woman in the picture with you?” she asked. Bobby raised his eyebrows in surprise. She didn’t recognise herself. But then again, she probably hadn’t looked in the mirror since waking up, and if she didn’t remember anything from before… 

“That’s you,” he said. She leaned in to look at the picture. 

“We don’t look very happy,” she said. Bobby smiled at her statement. 

“We just met, we didn’t know each other very well,” he told her. 

She nodded and flipped through the album. She gently fingered the picture of Bobby and her together. The she burst into huge sobs. 

“I…don’t…remember,” she gasped between sobs. 

“That’s okay,” Bobby replied. “It’s fine,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her. 

She cried in his arms, her tears making his chest wet. 

“Why can’t I remember?”


	11. Chapter Eleven

Bobby wandered towards room 105. It was strange, after traveling to room 310 so many times, now his feet took him there by accident, and he had to turn around and go back to room 105. 

He poked his head into the room. Alex was watching TV, an expression of rapt attention on her face. Dr Marshall had explained that it was hard sometimes for victims of brain injury to have trouble concentrating. 

“Hello,” Bobby said. Alex turned away from the TV, and smiled at him. 

“Hello,” she replied. 

“I finished work early, so I thought I’d stop by,” he said. 

“You’ve come to visit me before, more than once,” she said. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember your name, but I remember you,” she said hopefully. Bobby smiled, as if he didn’t have to remind her every time he came what his name was. Still, the fact that she remembered that he had visited before was a good sign; it meant her brain was fixing itself. The only bad sign was that she wasn’t gaining any memory from before the accident back. 

“My name is Bobby,” he said. 

“And mine is Alex,” she replied. He offered a smile for her effort to be friendly to him. It must be one of her good days. Her mood swings almost made him think of when he used to visit his mother, you never know it it’s going to be a good day or a bad day. 

A little girl poked her head into the room. Bobby recognised the small puffy face. Bethany saw him too, and a glimmer of recognition sparked in her eyes. 

“Hello Bobby,” she said. She walked slowly into the room, pulling her IV behind her. She looked thinner than last time he saw her, but the drugs they gave her made her face puff up, making her eyes look sunken into her head. She walked slower, without the enthusiasm he had seen before, though she still had a spark in her eyes. She must be getting sicker. 

Behind Bethany, Erika and Melissa walked slowly in behind. Melissa was dragging her IV with one hand, and her other arm was wrapped around Erika’s waist. Erika was also looking sicker than last time he saw her. She had her arm around Melissa’s shoulder, and was leaning some of her weight on the other girl. Melissa didn’t seem to mind. 

“We’re giving cards to all the patients,” Bethany said, holding up a large stack of handmade get well soon cards. She handed one on top to Alex. 

“Hi, I’m Bethany, this is Erika and Melissa,” she said. “What’s your name?” 

Alex smiled before replying, “My name is Alex; and the card is beautiful, I will put it where I can see it every day,” she said. 

Bethany grinned happily at her. “We’re gonna go now, we wanna give cards to everybody by the end of the day,” she explained.

“Goodbye,” Alex said.

“Bye,” all 3 girls replied. They left, slowly. Bobby could see that Erika’s jaundice had gotten worse; she was in dire need of a kidney.

“Those girls were sweet, bringing cards to everyone,” Alex said, “But they all look really sick.” 

“Yes, they all are very sick,” Bobby answered. 

“Do you know them?” Alex asked.

“I’ve met them before,” he said. 

Just then, Dr Marshall walked in. “Hello Alex,” he said. 

“Hello Doctor,” she replied. 

“Let’s get started right away,” Dr Marshall said. 

“What’s your name?”

“Alex,” she replied. 

“What’s your full name?” he asked. 

“Alex…no…Alexandra…Eames,” she said. Dr Marshall smiled and nodded. Her face radiated with triumph. 

“What’s my name?” he asked. 

“Dr…Dr…Marsh…umm…Dr Marsh?” she tried. 

“Marshall,” he said. 

“Dr Marshall,” she repeated. 

“Do you know where you are?” he asked.

“A hospital,” she replied.

“Do you know why?” he asked. 

“I got hurt,” she said, touching the bandage in the side of her head. 

Dr Marshall nodded, unwilling to elaborate on the subject. 

“Now we’re going to teach you to start reading again,” he said. 

She frowned as he started to get out his cards. 

It was the first one she had seen, and hadn’t been able to read. 

“Pig,” she said.

“Boat.” 

“Fish”

“Sm…smile”

“Good,” he said. 

“Now can you read this book for me?” he asked, holding out a child’s book. 

The sound of her slow stuttering reading made Bobby see just how much she had lost. What if she never remembered? Could he even begin to cope with living if she never remembered him? 

 

Bobby was walking out of room 105, worrying about Alex as he usually did. He worried also for the 3 sick little girls, who could easily die the next day. He worried for Sally-Jean, and wondered about her connection to McKellen. Alex used to tease him that if he could, he’d worry about the whole world, and try to solve everyone’s problems for them. 

Bobby looked up and saw Sally-Jean. _Speak of the devil, or thought of the devil, or whatever,_ he thought. 

Sally was talking to a man in his late teens or early 20s. The man had dark hair and cold grey eyes, the perfect description of Matthew McKellen. Bobby wondered if he was jumping to conclusions, but decided to watch the pair, and see what happened. 

“Where’ve you been Sally?” he asked. 

“I’ve been right here,” she replied. 

“Hanging out with sick kids and vegetables again?” Matthew asked. 

“Yes,” she replied. 

“And why would you want to do that instead of hanging out with me?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in a menacing sort of way. 

“I’ve always visited people in this hospital, that’s not going to change,” she replied with a hint of defiance. 

“Even if I told you…no?” he asked. The drawl in his voice wasn’t an accent, it was a style of speech that he used to try and make people fear him. It was the kind of drawl people use when they ask you a question, and then point a gun at you, and it greatly annoyed Bobby. 

“I don’t know Matt, is that what you’re going to do?” Sally asked, but the defiance was gone from her voice. 

Bobby couldn’t stand it any longer; he walked around the corner, and pretended to just notice them. 

“Hello Sally,” he said, and glared at Matthew. 

“Hello Bobby,” she replied. 

“Why don’t you introduce us?” Matthew said slowly, his eyes glinting as he looked at Bobby.

“Umm, Bobby, this is Matt, Matt, this is Bobby,” she said. Bobby thought he heard a hint of fear in her voice, and recalled the bruises he had seen. Matthew’s hand was more than likely the one to inflict them. 

“And you know him how?” Matthew asked. “The lead detective on my father’s case,” he added. 

“His partner was shot,” Sally said. 

“By my father,” Matt said, with a sly grin. “I see, you’ve been having friendly chats with the enemy,” he said. He grabbed Sally-Jean by the waist, and yanked her towards him. He swung her around with such force that she was tripping over her feet. 

“We’re leaving now, detective,” he hissed the last word. 

Sally-Jean looked over her shoulder, and at first Bobby thought he saw fear. But her eyes changed, and the deadened look that replaced it was almost worse. She turned around, and lengthened her step to keep up with Matthew McKellen. 

 

“I knew it,” Bobby said to Mike the next day, as he speed walked into the squad room. 

“Uh, knew what?” Mike asked. He hadn’t even taken the breath to say good morning yet, and Bobby had just burst out with this information, that meant nothing to Mike. 

“That way he said it…detective…like a hiss more so than a word,” Bobby replied. 

“Okay, would you like to explain?” Mike asked. 

Frustrated, Bobby replied, “The way Matthew McKellen said detective, it was the same way as the person who shot Alex.”

“You saw Matthew McKellen?” Mike asked. “When?”

“Yesterday, at the hospital, with Sally-Jean,” Bobby said, rushing to his desk. 

“Sally-Jean…oh!” Mike said, as he finally understood what Bobby was trying to say. 

“I don’t know why I didn’t see it,” Bobby muttered, angry with himself. “Serial killers aren’t open with their crimes, they won’t confess unless they know there’s something they can get out of it,” he continued. “McKellen was protecting his son,” he finished. 

“Well the little bastard shot your partner, I think you had the right to be distracted, no one else noticed either,” Mike said. 

Bobby grabbed the phone on his desk, about to call Alex. As he picked it up, he slammed it down again with the realization that he couldn’t call her. He forced the hot tears to stay behind his eyes, and picked up the phone again to call Carolyn. 

She walked in just then, answering her cell phone, and looking confused when the caller just hung up. 

“I am going to question McKellen, are you coming?” Bobby asked, half running past her, towards the elevator. 

“Okay,” Carolyn said, switching her direction to go after Bobby, deciding to ask him why in the car. 

 

“You,” Bobby said simply when he saw McKellen. 

“Detective Goren,” he answered warily. 

“That was a good show you put on,” Bobby said. 

“I don't know what you're saying," McKellen said, but Bobby detected a hint of panic.   
“You were willing to go to jail,” Bobby said, looking around the cell as he said it, “To protect your son, who you know is just going to kill again,” Bobby said, full or rage at the bluff that had gotten past him. 

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” McKellen said, but Bobby detected a hint of panic.

“Your son is a serial killer, and he’s dangerous,” Bobby said. “You found the fingers of those poor women, and you knew what your son had done,” Bobby accused. “You let him shoot my partner, you are still letting him kill other women!” Bobby said, his accusing voice rising in anger. “No matter what you do, you can’t stop him, all you’re doing is letting him kill other innocent people, ruin their family and friend’s lives!” his voice rose until he sounded hysterical, and if Carolyn hadn’t known him, she might have been frightened. She wasn’t, but McKellen certainly was. 

“I just wanted to protect my son, I hoped Sally-Jean could turn him around,” McKellen muttered. 

“Sally?” Bobby asked, trying to sort this out, as if it was a piece of a very difficult puzzle. Suddenly, something in his brain clicked. Carolyn could almost see the puzzle forming together in his mind. 

“How did you know Sally?” he asked slowly, he could feel that this was the final piece of information that would make the puzzle complete.

“She moved here when she was about…10?” he tried. “Mattie was quite taken with her, right from the beginning. Something about her made him want to make her happy, despite the 6 year age gap. Strangest thing about her was she always came alone, her mother never brought her, and she never spoke of her mother either. She practically lived with us by the time she was 12.” 

“I might not have been a good father, but Sally was quite the mother hen. She always watched out for the smaller, weaker, and younger children. She even got Mattie to stop teasing the younger kids, just to please her. She was 12, and he might have been 18 by then, but she had won his heart, or at least I thought she had. But it was that year that Mattie graduated and moved on campus. Sally-Jean stopped coming around, and I never really knew what happened to her. Until she started showing up again, just 2 months ago.” 

“Mattie started telling me about how he saw her in the street, and remembered her, and that they had started dating. I knew she was 14, and that was really too young for a 20-year-old, but I just wanted him to be happy. Sally-Jean was so sweet to me, even when she was little. I wasn’t sure I believed my son, but I wanted to so much. I hoped that Sally could help break him of the things he had started in college, but he was too far gone for anyone to help.”

Tears started filling the man’s eyes, and Bobby almost felt sorry for him. 

“It was worse than picking on smaller kids now, he was a predator, but I didn’t want to see it. I knew about the assault, harassment, and sexual harassment charges, but I couldn’t give up on him.” 

“Sally kept getting bruises, and she was telling me that she slipped and fell, or she walked into a door, but I couldn’t accept that my Matthew was hurting her. Then I found the fingers, and I just had to give him one last chance. But then I saw on the news that a detective on the murder case had been shot, and I searched his room again. I found the shell casings. I didn’t want to put it on the poor girl, but Sally-Jean was the only person I could think of to trust enough with this information.” 

McKellen sat quietly, a tear falling down his cheek. 

“I just wish there was a way that I could have turned him around, my wife would be so disappointed in what I let her family come to,” he finished. 

“So now, Sally-Jean doesn’t want to disappoint you, and your son is terrorizing her, and you just let this girl that you supposedly even like, you just let her fade under the dark ring that surrounds Matthew,” Bobby said, disgusted. 

“You might as well have helped Matthew kill those women, hurt and harass those other women, you might as well have just ruined those people’s lives yourself,” Bobby whispered. Though he whispered, Carolyn and McKellen had no trouble hearing him. The emotion in his voice worried Carolyn, and she wondered if it might have been better if he had just yelled and ranted at the man, just to let it out of his system. 

“Because of what you did, more people might die,” Bobby said. “I just hope you know that by trying to save your son, you took away someone else’s daughter,” Bobby finished. He turned away, ready to leave now that he had all the information he needed. There was nothing else he could think of that could get between him, and the person that had taken Alex away from him.


	12. Chapter Twelve

“I need that warrant,” Bobby was saying to the ADA. 

“On a hunch?” the ADA replied. “Not a chance.”

“The father told me it was him,” Bobby replied. 

“And was his lawyer in the room?” the ADA countered. “No.” 

“So unless I go back and get it out of him with his lawyer in the room, we don’t get a warrant,” Bobby said. Without waiting for an answer, he strode out of the room, towards Carolyn. 

“All right say it,” Bobby said. “You told me so.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she replied sarcastically, and hurried to keep up with him. 

 

Carolyn sighed as she followed Bobby into Rikers, for the second time. He had been dragging her all over the place (even though she had been driving) since she first got assigned as his partner. 

“Don’t worry, I remembered to call his lawyer,” she said. 

He turned around and smiled at her, before simply saying, “Thanks.”

Her irritation dissolved, but some returned as he turned and rushed into the building, his longer legs making it so that she had to run to keep up with him. 

 

“There, signed by Mark McKellen,” Bobby said, handing the statement to the ADA. 

“All right, here’s your warrant, but I’m not dropping the charges against Mark McKellen yet, I’d hate to think you were wrong, and double jeopardy kept us away from him,” the ADA replied. 

Bobby grabbed the warrant, and rushed out to get to the apartment. Carolyn had seen him coming, and had started speed walking towards the exit the second he started to open the door. 

“Let’s search the bastard’s apartment,” Bobby muttered. 

 

“This is sick,” Carolyn said. She was looking at a photo album that had been discovered under a loose floorboard (which was covered by a rug, Bobby had been the one to lift it and find the album) in Mark McKellen’s bedroom. In it there were pictures of the women he had killed. First, there was the photo’s labelled ‘before’. They were pictures he had taken by stalking his victims. Next was the ‘now’ section. It showed the women in varying degrees of torture, until the ‘after’ pictures showed their battered and broken bodies. 

“We knew that this killer was a sick guy, and most serial killers tend to keep record of their kills, and the torture,” Bobby said, while fishing through the suspect’s sock drawer. 

“Found another one,” Bobby said, pulling out a photo album.

As he opened it, with Carolyn peering over his shoulder, he was surprised to see that was just a photo album. The first picture was one of a man and a woman, on their wedding day. The man was a young Mark McKellen. 

“It’s a family album?” Carolyn asked. “Why’d he put it in his sock drawer?” 

“It must have been important to him, at some point at least,” Bobby replied. 

As he flipped through, he saw a picture of Mark and his wife, standing outside a beautiful house somewhere in the country, a picture of Mrs. McKellen holding baby Matthew in her arms, and a picture of the whole happy family. At about the middle, Matthew’s mother disappeared from the pictures. Bobby was almost surprised when he saw a picture of a teenage Matthew McKellen, getting hugged by a 10-year-old Sally-Jean. 

He knew Matt McKellen had once known Sally, and apparently liked her, but Bobby still found this idea strange. Why would a 16-year-old be interested with a 10-year-old? And how would they even have met? The questions chased each other around in Bobby’s head, the answer eluding him. 

_I wonder if Alex would know the answers? I wonder if I could think straight if she was here, working with me? I wish she could be here, catching criminals like we always do. I think I’m going to go see her…even though I can’t talk to her about this…I might never be able to again…_

Bobby wandered aimlessly out of the apartment. 

“Bobby?” “Where are you going?” Carolyn asked. 

“To see Alex,” Bobby replied. 

“What about the search?” Carolyn asked. 

“There’s nothing here, maybe forensics, but that’ll take a while to process,” Bobby said. “I’d rather be with Alex.” 

 

Bobby walked towards the stairs, to see his partner. He was busy steeling himself against seeing her like that, as he always did. On his way there, a voice called out his name. He spun around, and saw Bethany and Melissa heading towards the elevator. 

“Guess what Bobby, guess what, the coolest, most exciting thing happened today!” Bethany exclaimed. 

“What happened?” Bobby asked. 

“Erika says that her Mommy says, that the doctor says that she’s getting a kidney!” Bethany said. “She’s getting surgery today.”

“Well that’s good news,” Bobby said, smiling at Bethany. 

“Yeah, but the doctor says that the kidney might not work, and Erika’s gotta stay in bed for a while after,” Bethany added.

“That’s why we’re bringing her the wishing stone,” Melissa said.

“What’s the wishing stone?” Bobby asked. 

Melissa reached into the pocket of her housecoat, and produced a brightly painted and decorated rock. Bright pink, yellow, blue, and green paint was slathered on, and various beads, feathers, and sequins were glued to it. 

“When patients need good luck, they make a wish on the wishing stone,” Bethany said. “But one person can’t wish too much, or the stone will stop using it’s magic on you. That’s why you gotta make sure you only use it when you got a really important wish,” Bethany said.

Melissa smiled and nodded. “And Erika’s health is a good wish,” she added.

“Yes it is,” Bobby agreed. 

“Well, we gotta go,” Bethany said. “Bye Bobby.” Melissa turned and waved over her shoulder. The two girls trudged slowly away, and Bobby headed to Alex’s room

 

“Hey Alex,” Bobby said. 

“Hello,” she replied, but chose not to turn and look at him. 

_So it’s one of those days,_ he thought. 

“How are you?” he asked. 

“Fine,” she replied, staring out the window. 

“I brought the photo album,” he said, and set it down on the edge of her bed. 

She turned around and looked at him. “My…parents brought this,” she said, holding up a book. “Before they knew that…well, that I couldn’t read anymore,” she said. “They said I was reading it before…and that it might, you know, trigger my memory or something…” she trailed off. “I still can’t really read it, but I thought that maybe, if you read it…” she stopped again. “Never mind,” she said, her face turning red. 

“You want me to read that book to you?” he asked, his heart melting. 

“Only if you want to,” she said. “You don’t have to, you probably have better things to do,” she whispered. 

“Alex, the highlight of my day is coming to see you,” he replied, breaking into a smile. “I’d love to read it to you,” he said, reaching for the book. 

She smiled, and scooted over. Bobby sat the edge of her bed, and began to read the book. 

A nurse poked her head in, half an hour later, but smiled and walked away at the sight of the tall man reading to the tiny, vulnerable woman. 

 

Bobby walked out of the room. His throat hurt, and he thought that if he had to keep talking for one more minute he would lose his voice. 

“Hey Bobby,” a weak voice said. He turned to see Bethany and Melissa. 

“Hey girls,” he replied. “What are you doing?”

“Erika’s sleeping, cause her surgery is bright and early tomorrow,” Bethany said. Bobby noticed that she had dark circles under her eyes, and she looked like she was made of skin and bones. She stood like she was dead on her feet, sagging over like an old woman. Hardly any of her energy was left. 

“We’re really gonna miss her when she gets better and goes home,” Bethany said sadly. “But we’ll still be friends, we’ll write each other an stuff, and maybe visit, on Saturdays,” she added hopefully. 

“We’ll always be best friends, forever,” Melissa agreed. 

Bobby smiled. “That’s good,” he said. “Everyone needs friends.” 

“Do you have friends?” Melissa asked. 

“Of course he does,” Bethany answered for him. “Everyone has friends.”

Melissa turned to Bobby and waited to hear what he said. 

“Yes, I have friends,” Bobby replied. 

“Like Alex,” Melissa said. 

“Isn’t she the lady that lost her memory?” Bethany asked. 

“Yeah, that’s sad, I couldn’t imagine not knowing who my family and friends were,” Melissa said with a shudder.

“Yes, it’s very sad,” Bobby said, looking away. 

“I’m sorry Bobby,” Melissa said. “It’s hard for you as well, she doesn’t know the people that meant so much to her. But she meant a lot to you, and she doesn’t remember? That would be worse, I think,” she said. 

“I guess so, I’ve never really thought about it like that,” Bobby told her.

“It just happened,” Melissa said.

Bobby nodded. 

“Well, it’s time to sleep,” Bethany said with a yawn. 

“Good-night Bobby,” the girls said. 

“Good-night,” he replied.

He went outside, taking a deep breath of exhaust and garbage air. Coughing, he walked back to his apartment. He knew he should try to get some sleep before work. 

 

“Did forensics find anything in Matt McKellen’s apartment?” Bobby demanded Carolyn as he walked towards her. 

“Sorry Bobby, just fingerprints, no hits in the system, same goes for the DNA,” Carolyn said. 

“Are there people watching the place?” he asked. 

“Yes, but if he hasn’t come back now…” she trailed off.

“He’s either out stalking his next victim, or he made us,” Bobby finished. 

“Look, Bobby, I know how much you want to catch this guy, but you’re wearing yourself thin between hospital visits, and trying to catch Matt McKellen, eating and sleeping seem to have become lost luxuries,” Carolyn said. 

Bobby knew that it was the truth. He had lost weight; his clothes hung off him. He hardly ever slept; when he did sleep he tossed and turned. The nightmares had gotten so that he didn’t want to sleep anymore. But it didn’t matter; his thoughts were always along the lines of his dreams. When he woke up in the middle of the night, he couldn’t convince himself to go back to sleep. Instead, he would stare at the McKellen case file, even though he was so tired that he wouldn’t have seen a lead if it stared him in the face. If he wasn’t reviewing the file, he took out the photo album he made for Alex, and flipped through it. 

“I’ll rest again, after we catch McKellen,” Bobby said. 

“No you won’t,” Carolyn said boldly. “After that, you’ll need to wait for the trial, then for something else, and something else. You just want to do something, you want to make it up to Alex by catching the shooter, and locking him up. Bobby, no matter what you do, it’s not going to change anything…you couldn’t have done anything to stop what happened, and nothing’s going to make it all better,” Carolyn said. 

“I…I know that,” Bobby whispered. “But…I’ve got to do something. I can’t just do nothing…”

“Oh Bobby,” she said. “You need to take care of yourself. You know that she’d want you to.”

“I know…I know,” he replied.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

“If I could just get one lead…just one!” Bobby half-shouted in frustration, slamming down the file. He had been reviewing the McKellen file for the third hour in a row, and was beyond frustrated. 

_What made him a serial killer? And why did he just suddenly start killing? What was it about Sally-Jean that had made him hold off on killing?_

All the women were between the ages of 18 and 25. They all had blonde hair, and blue eyes. _Why that type? What was it that made Matthew McKellen want to murder them?_

Bobby leaned forward and grabbed the evidence box. He pulled on gloves, and then took out the photo album. Maybe there was something in the album. 

The first photo was the McKellen’s on their wedding day. Bobby flipped through, glancing at the photos. Matt’s 1st birthday, the family at the beach, on a picnic, and at the park. He flipped farther. Matt’s kindergarten graduation, a kitten hanging off the couch, a family picture. A little farther in the album, Bobby found that 2 pages were stuck together. He hadn’t looked at them yet. Gently, he pulled them apart. 

On the first page, there were 10 small pictures. In the first one, Mrs. McKellen in the hospital, holding…a baby. A baby wearing a pink hat. Mark McKellen and 5-year-old Matt were sitting on the bed next to the woman and baby. The next 9 pictures were one picture for each year of the little girl’s life. Her 1st, 2nd, and 3rd birthday, and then school pictures. The last page was a full size photo of the girl. She had long brown hair, and blue eyes. Underneath the picture was written: In Loving Memory: Sarah Jane McKellen. She wasn’t in any other pictures. It was as if the family wanted to forget the little girl, she would have been 10 years old when she died. The same age as Sally-Jean when she first met Matt. Sally-Jean had long brown hair and blue eyes. Her name was even similar. 

_That’s it. He didn’t see Sally-Jean, he saw Sarah Jane, his sister. It would have been a year since his sister died. Then he went to collage, and was forced to believe that his sister was dead. And when he came back, and saw Sally-Jean; she wasn’t his sister anymore she was just another girl. But he didn’t kill her. Instead he dominated over her…proving to himself that she was nothing, he didn’t need her._

It only took Bobby a moment to think through all this. He had the lead he needed. He ran out of his apartment, heading to talk to Mark McKellen. 

 

“McKellen,” Bobby said.

“What do you want detective?” McKellen asked. “I gave up my son, now leave me alone.” 

“We haven’t caught him yet,” Bobby said. 

“Oh no?” McKellen asked.

“Where is he?” Bobby asked. 

“I don’t know, and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you,” McKellen replied. 

This was the answer Bobby had been expecting, but this wasn’t the real question. The purpose had been to get McKellen worked up and defensive about the whereabouts of his son, which he probably didn’t know anyway. Bobby doubted that Matt would have confided in his father. 

“You had a daughter didn’t you?” Bobby asked. McKellen looked up, surprised. “Her name was Sarah Jane,” Bobby added. “She died when she was 10 years old, when your son was 15. How did your daughter die, Mark?” Bobby asked. 

At first he thought McKellen wasn’t going to answer, he stayed silent for a while. But he did reply, “It was an accident.” 

“Tell me, what happened?” Bobby asked. He wished he had researched the family more carefully. He might have found out about the sister sooner.

“It was summer. We had gotten a pool put in the yard, and Sarah was so excited. She went swimming every day. She was our little fish. My wife left her alone for just a minute, just long enough to get some lemonade. When she came back, Sarah was dead. Her hair had gotten caught in the filter, and she drowned. My wife couldn’t stand the guilt, she killed herself right after Sarah’s funeral.” 

Bobby hadn’t looked any farther than the pages showing Sarah, but if he had he would have seen that Matt’s mother disappeared from the pictures right after that page. 

“You didn’t have a memorial page in the album for your wife,” Bobby said. 

“She made the album after Sarah died,” McKellen said. She refused to put any photos of Sarah in the album, except those 2 pages. She said that when she died, she didn’t want to have a memorial page in the album, because she had killed her own daughter. I should have known what she was going to do, but I was too caught up in my own grief. Matt heard her say that she killed Sarah, but he didn’t tell me until after his Mom died. I tried to tell him that it was an accident, but he had heard it with his own ears. He felt that she had killed his sister, and he never forgave, not even after she died.” 

“You never mentioned Sarah before,” Bobby said. “Why?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” McKellen said. “It happened so long ago.” 

“But it does matter,” Bobby said. “Sally-Jean, she looked like Sarah, and she had a similar name. So that’s why Matt befriended her,” Bobby said. “He was protecting his sister. Sally-Jean took Sarah’s place. For a while at least. But then he was that little boy again, and his sister was gone, his mother had killed her, and Sally-Jean wasn’t good enough anymore, she wasn’t really his sister. And so he went after revenge instead. He had to kill his mother. But she was already dead, so he did the same thing he did with Sally-Jean. He found a substitute. And then he found that he liked killing, it gave him a sense of being in control. And he didn’t want Sally-Jean to take it away again, so he dominated her. He wouldn’t kill her; she was a trophy now, showing what he had become. Showing that he was stronger than everything that had happened. Didn’t you see, Mark, that all the women your son killed had blonde hair and blue eyes? The same as your wife. But that’s not why he does it anymore. He just likes to. He’s a cold hearted killer, and nothing more.” 

 

Bobby called the number Sally-Jean had given him. 

“Hello?” a voice asked. 

“Sally? It’s Bobby,” Bobby said.

“What do you want Bobby?” she asked.

“Can we meet somewhere?” 

“When?”

“ASAP.”

“Where?”

“Where do you want?”

“Hospital roof? I’m visiting the patients after,” she said. 

“All right, see you in half an hour,” Bobby said.

 

Bobby walked up to the hospital roof, thinking over the McKellen case. He wondered if Sally-Jean even knew anything else important. He had to find out. He walked up to the door of the roof, and pushed it open. He opened the door and saw Sally-Jean. Her face was pale, and her arms were wrapped tightly around herself. Matt McKellen stood behind her, a gun on her temple. He grinned maliciously, while Sally-Jean mouthed, I’m sorry.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

“Slide your gun and cell phone over to me, and do it now,” Matt said. 

“Matthew, you need to calm down and –

“I said slide you gun and cell phone over to me, or I’ll blow Sally’s head off,” Matt interrupted.

Bobby pulled off his gun and cell phone, and slid them across the roof to Matt. 

“That’s better,” Matt said with that smile. Bobby looked at Sally-Jean. Her face was still pale, but she didn’t look scared anymore. Her eyes were blank, that same dead look that he had seen when Sally was with Matt at the hospital. 

“You can’t get away Matthew,” Bobby said. “No matter what happens, you’re not going to get away alive.”

“That’s what you think,” Matt replied. 

“What do you get out of this Matthew?” Bobby asked. “I know you killed those people, and we both know that this isn’t going to help your case.”

“I know it won’t, but it will be quite amusing; for me that is,” Matt said.

“What do you get out of killing people Matthew?” Bobby asked. “Is it like killing your mother?” 

“So you figured it out did you?” Matt said. “I take after my mother. She killed my little sister.” 

“It was an accident Matthew,” Bobby said. “Your mother didn’t kill your little sister.”

“You’re lying,” Matt said. “But it doesn’t matter anyway.” 

“Why is that?” Bobby asked. “Is it because you found that killing was fun? Did it give you a sense of power? Or do you just enjoy the hunt?” 

Matt grinned. “Well, I’m certainly feeling a sense of power right now,” he said, giving Sally a shake. She flopped in his arms like a rag doll. 

“Matthew, Sally has nothing to do with this, let her go, and we can talk,” Bobby said. 

“No, see, if I let her go, then you’ll just arrest me, and what fun would that be?” Matt asked. 

“Matthew what do you want?” Bobby asked, desperate for a way to get Sally-Jean out of there. 

“I’m going to test you,” Matt said, with another grin. “How badly do you want to catch me detective?” Matt asked. 

“Very much,” Bobby replied. 

“Very much?” Matt asked. “That’s the only response you have for me? Come on detective, I killed those women. I chopped off their fingers, and ate the rest, so delicious… You’re disgusted, and you couldn’t catch me for the longest time. My father confessed for my crime, poor old man, how could he face losing two children? He bought me some time. If all these things didn’t make you angry enough, I lured you out to the shack, to meet me. How dare I try to trick YOU, right?” Matt laughed hysterically. “And then I got your partner, shot right in the head…it’s a wonder she didn’t die… But I did still succeed in pissing you off, right?”   
Bobby clenched his jaw. Matt grinned at seeing this. “You’re angry detective, you don’t just want to catch me, you want to throw me in jail, you want to know that I will never get away. So tell me,” he said. “How badly do you want to catch me?”

“I want to catch you very much, “ Bobby said through clenched teeth. 

“So you won’t let me get away, no matter what?” Matt asked. 

Bobby nodded. “So just let Sally go,” he said.

“I’ll test your resolve detective,” Matt said. 

Before Bobby knew what was happening, Matt turned and flung Sally-Jean over the edge. Bobby ran towards him, but Matt was jumping over the edge, flying towards the building next to the hospital. Sally-Jean screamed, but her scream was cut off with a crash. 

Matt grasped the building next to the hospital. Bobby stopped, right at the edge. Matt grinned like a maniac, from across the next building. Bobby then realised the whole point. He had to make a choice. He could risk the jump across, and try to catch Matt. He could run down to the next building, but by then Matt would be gone. Or, he could go to Sally-Jean. She might still be alive after the fall. 

He peered over the edge of the hospital. Sally-Jean lay on the ground, bleeding. Bobby looked up at Matt. 

“I’ll get you!” Bobby screamed. He started to run towards the door to the roof. He had to get to Sally-Jean. He couldn’t let another person die. Another person was critically injured, because of him. He could hear Matt laughing. He wasn’t sure if the laughing was real or in his head. Bobby fled down the stairs. He had to get to Sally. Matt had gotten away. Bobby was rushing out the front door. He was yelling, “A girl went over the roof, I need a doctor!” Before he could know if anyone responded, he was out the front door. His thoughts were in turmoil. 

He fell to his knees, and scraped them quite badly, though he didn’t feel it right then. A man, presumably a doctor dropped down besides Bobby. “I’ve got a pulse,” Bobby said. 

A couple more doctors/nurses came rushing out, pushing/pulling a gurney. Bobby found himself pushed away from Sally by people. Sally-Jean’s limp form was being lifted onto the gurney. In his mind, she changed, and it was Alex on the gurney. “Alex…” he whispered. But when he looked again, it was a 14-year-old girl with long brown hair, and a deathly pale face. Alex wasn’t there because of him. Sally-Jean was thrown over a roof because of him. Who was left for him to turn to? 

“Are you okay?” a man asked, presumably a doctor. 

“Just help them,” Bobby murmured. 

“You’re in shock, come with me, I’ll get you the help you need,” the man said. 

“I don’t need…I just…is Sally going to be okay?” he asked. 

“The girl they just took in?” the doctor asked. “She doesn’t look good, but you never know.” 

“I need to go wait for her,” Bobby said, and walked towards the front doors of the hospital. 

“I really think someone should check you out, and make sure you’re all right,” the doctor said. 

“No, I just need to make sure she lives, they both have to live, they have to,” Bobby said.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Bobby wasn’t sure how long he sat, waiting to hear news of Sally-Jean’s condition. Sometimes when he tried to think how long he had been there it seemed like an eternity. Sometimes it seemed like a very short wait.

Bobby had called Carolyn, who had promised to tell the captain. Then he had called Mike, to tell him what had happened. Mike had been sympathetic, and had promised that they would catch McKellen. Bobby still sat, staring at the floor in the waiting room. 

Finally, Bobby saw the concerned doctor that had told him he was in shock. 

“How is she?” Bobby asked, rushing up to him. 

“She is still alive,” the doctor said. 

This statement, it reminded him of when he learned about Alex. _Detective Eames is still alive._ The same guarded tone. Bobby clenched his fists. 

“Part of her lung collapsed, but we have her breathing again. Her right arm is broken in three places. She was internally bleeding, but we removed her spleen, which had ruptured from the fall. She has two broken ribs. The whole right side of her body is an open wound, and we won’t know how much damage was done to her brain until she wakes up after surgery. 

“Where is she?” Bobby asked. 

“Are you her father?” the doctor asked. Bobby was quite confused at first, but then he remembered that this doctor had no idea who he was or who Sally was. 

“No,” Bobby answered. 

“Do you know how I can contact her parents?” the doctor asked. 

“No,” Bobby replied. He had no idea where Sally-Jean’s mother was, and her father was dead. Her mother probably couldn’t even help her anyway. 

“Do you know anything about her?” the doctor asked. 

“Her name is Sally-Jean Randall,” Bobby answered, “She’s 14 years old, but other than that, I really don’t know much about her.” 

The doctor nodded. “She’s in recovery, room 106.”

Bobby stared at him. It was the room next to Alex’s. 

“Is something wrong?” the doctor asked. 

“A 14-year-old girl almost died,” Bobby replied. “Yes, something’s wrong.” He handed the doctor his card. “Call me if anything changes.”

He went up the stairs slowly, counting every step. _One, two, three, four, five…_

 

Bobby walked past Alex’s room. It felt wrong, to just pass by her room without even saying hello. But he had to see Sally-Jean first. He went to room 106, and peeked in the doorway. Bobby walked cautiously over to her bedside. 

Sally-Jean had an oxygen mask on. Her breathing was shallow, as if every breath was costing her. Her right arm was in a cast from her shoulder to her fingers. The whole right side of her face was covered in a gauze bandage. Her right eye was even covered. 

Bobby gently picked up her left hand. He leaned forward, his face right next to her ear. He whispered gently, “I’m so sorry. Please, please, just get better.” 

 

Reminding himself to try and act happy, Bobby peeked into Alex’s room. Her mother was helping her into a wheelchair. 

“Hello Bobby,” Penny said when she caught sight of him.

“Hello Mrs. Eames,” he replied. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking Alex for a walk outside,” she said, “You like the gardens don’t you dear?” she asked, turning to Alex. 

“They’re pretty,” Alex replied, while settling more comfortably into the wheelchair. 

“Would you like to come with?” Penny asked. 

“Yes, I’d like that very much,” Bobby replied. 

“I hate this chair,” Alex muttered as the trio headed towards the elevator. 

“You know what the doctor says,” Penny said cheerfully, “If you want to go outside, you go in the wheelchair, that’s the rule.”  
Bobby admired how well Penny handled everything, and still managed to stay cheerful for Alex’s sake. She was a completely different woman from the one that Bobby had met that first day…the first day of his new life. His life was divided in two parts, life before, and life after. 

Bobby, Penny, and Alex walked outside in silence. The only sound was Alex’s wheelchair. They went outside, where Penny turned and followed a path that led behind the hospital. The scenery changed as they walked down the path. Instead of tall buildings, vehicles, and many, many people, Bobby saw trees, gardens filled with flowers and fewer people. The smell of garbage and exhaust faded, and was replaced with the smell of flowers. 

They walked a little further into the garden, and then stopped under the shade of a tree. Alex began to attempt to get out of the wheelchair. Penny went forward to help, reaching for her daughter. 

“I can do it Mom,” Alex said.

Penny backed away, tears in her eyes. Alex carefully pulled herself out of the wheelchair, and settled down on the grass. She twisted around to give Penny and Bobby a smile before she turned and looked out at the gardens. 

“Sometimes she seems so much like she used to be,” Penny said, brushing away her tears. 

“I know,” Bobby said simply. The two people looked at each other, and they both felt an understanding. 

They looked out into the gardens, lost in thought. 

Bobby’s mind wandered to Sally-Jean, and he wondered if she would be all right. He felt sick remembering how she had looked in the room. She was so different from when he had first met her. He remembered how strange she was, how rude and yet so understanding. Even though he hadn’t liked her at that time, he wished that she was still like that, not scared, or with that blank expression on her face.   
If only…Bobby had thought it so many times since that day he and Alex had went to the shack, trying to catch a criminal, like they always did. It seemed so long ago. 

“Are you okay Bobby?” Penny asked. 

“I’m fine,” he replied. 

“You don’t look well,” she said. 

“It’s just that…so much has changed…if I had just…the people that meant a lot to me…if only…she means everything to me.” Bobby took a couple seconds to gain control of himself. I’ll be fine Mrs. Eames. I’ll be okay.” 

“Bobby, if you need to talk to me, you can,” Penny said.

“I know,” Bobby replied, looking away. 

She let the matter drop. 

 

Bobby walked into work the next morning. It was something he had once looked forward to. Now he dreaded it. 

“Morning,” Mike said.

“Morning,” Bobby replied. 

“You don’t look too good,” Mike stated.

Bobby stared at him blankly. 

“How’s…how’s Eames?” Mike asked. 

“Same,” Bobby replied, looking away. 

“And the girl?” Mike asked. 

“She’s…she’s hurt pretty badly, but she’s alive,” Bobby replied. 

“That’s good then?” Mike asked. 

“She hasn’t woken up from surgery yet, and until she does, they don’t know what kind of brain damage has been done,” Bobby replied. 

“I’m sorry,” Mike said. 

Bobby nodded, and went to sit down at his desk. Mike looked like he might say something, but he didn’t. He stood and looked at his friend. Not sure there was anything for him to do, he went to his desk to begin the paperwork for the day. He glanced up at Bobby every so often, but Bobby was looking down the whole time. 

 

_Alex tugged at Bobby’s hand again. “Come on,” she whispered. “Hurry up.”_

_Bobby followed, staggering as he ran, desperately trying to keep up. She started to pull ahead. Her hand slipped from his grasp._

_“Wait!” he called._

_She laughed, and moved further ahead of him. Suddenly he was falling, the ground had fallen out from under him. He reached desperately for something to hang on to._

_“Alex!” he screamed._

_He could still hear her laughing…_

 

Bobby’s eyes flashed open. He was drenched with sweat, and gasping for air. His cell phone was ringing. 

“Goren,” he gasped.

“This is Dr. Gideon. I’m calling about Ms. Randall.”

“What’s happening?” Bobby asked. 

“Ms. Randall has checked herself out, against medical advice,” Dr. Gideon answered. 

“What?” Bobby demanded. “She could have died, and you’re telling me she just left!”

“We had no reason to make her stay, she said that she couldn’t afford any more hospital bills. She filled out the paperwork, paid in cash, and left 20 minutes ago,” Dr. Gideon said. 

“Why didn’t you call as soon as she woke up?” Bobby asked. 

“I have no obligation to you sir,” Dr. Gideon said. “You have no relation to the girl so I had no obligation to call you. She did not request to speak to you or inform you.”

“Did you ever stop to think that the man who pushed her over the roof could find her and kill her now, and I have no idea where she is to try and help her?” Bobby demanded angrily. 

“We had no reason to call you sir. Good day.” All that was left was the dial tone.

“He hung up on me!” Bobby shouted indignantly. He fumbled around on his desk and grabbed the phone number that Melissa had given him. 

_Hey this is Sally-Jean. I can’t come to the phone right now, leave a message!_

“Sally it’s Bobby.” He waited for her to pick up the phone, like she had last time. 

“Are you there Sally?” he asked. “Sally if you’re there, please answer the phone.”

There was breathing on the other end of the line. “Sally?” Bobby asked, but he knew it wasn’t her. 

“Detective.” It was Matthew McKellen.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

“Matthew,” Bobby said. 

“Do you think you made the right choice detective?” Matt asked. 

“I know I did,” Bobby replied. “Sally-Jean lived through that fall.”

“You didn’t catch me Bobby,” Matt said. “And why not? So that Sally would live? How did you know she would?”

“I didn’t,” Bobby replied. “But I’m not like you Matthew. I couldn’t just let her die, if there was a chance she could live.”

“It doesn’t matter Bobby,” Matt said. “I have her now.”

“You found her,” Bobby said, trying to keep his voice even.

“She wasn’t exactly hard to find,” Matt laughed. “She went straight to her boss, to tell him she couldn’t work. He fired her, the poor little thing. She’ll never work at an underage club again, not with her face all messed up like that. “

“An underage club?” Bobby asked. 

“You didn’t know?” Matt said. “She works at one of those clubs where girls like her swing around poles for money. I guess there’s lots you don’t know, Detective. I’ll be seeing you later.” Then he hung up. 

Bobby was going to try and find the club that Sally-Jean was apparently working at. He suddenly remembered the time he had found Sally-Jean crying in the chapel. She said she needed to get to work at 9:30. Right around the time a club would open. 

He checked the clock. It was 3 in the morning. The clubs would still be open.

 

Bobby had tried 6 clubs already. He had started with the ones nearest to the hospital, and he was spreading out from there. He opened the door to another one, and felt the music blasting against his ears. 

He looked towards the dancers. His eyes widened in shock when he looked at one of the girls dancing. She couldn’t possibly be older than 16 years old. And yet, the little blonde girl was obviously comfortable with what she was doing. 

“You want a private show?” a girl with brunette curls, wearing hardly any clothing asked a man. He nodded, and she led him into a back room. 

Bobby shook his head angrily, and also headed to the back. He walked past all the plain doors, trying to ignore the sounds coming from behind them. _They’re just children; they shouldn’t be exposed to this._

Bobby stopped at the door labelled: Mr. H. M. Jeffrey. He knocked loudly, and without waiting, pushed open the door. 

“You can’t just walk in here!” the man shouted. 

Bobby slammed the door behind him and held out his badge. “Police, Mr. Jeffrey,” he said.

“This club is perfectly legal, all the girls are 19 or older!” the man exclaimed. 

“There is no way that those little girls are 19,” Bobby said. “Luckily for you, I’m not interested in that,” Bobby said. 

“Then why are you here?” Jeffery asked. 

“Do you know a Sally-Jean Randall?” Bobby asked.

“Sally-Jean said she was 19, I can’t help it if she was lying!” Jeffery replied. 

“I don’t care about that, did you fire her today?” Bobby asked. 

“Yeah, she was all messed up, she couldn’t work like that,” the man said. 

“Do you know anyone who was close to her?” Bobby asked. 

“Yeah, Sweet Tart came to work with her a couple times, they leave together a lot too.” 

“And where can I find ‘Sweet Tart’?” Bobby asked. 

“I’ll go get her,” Jeffery said.

Bobby followed close behind; to let the man know he was close enough to grab Jeffery at any time, there was no point in trying to run.

“Candy, you’re up!” Jeffery shouted, banging on one of the doors. 

A girl whose head barely reached Bobby’s shoulder came out. She looked at Bobby with big, sad brown eyes before rushing towards the stage. 

“Sweet Tart!” the man yelled. “You switch with Candy! You got company,” he added, eyeing Bobby.

A girl with big green eyes, curly red hair, and freckles stopped dancing and hopped off the stage. Candy climbed up and continued where Sweet Tart left off. 

“Maybe we can talk outside?” Bobby asked.

“I guess that’s all right,” the girl replied. Her voice was barely audible above the music from the club. 

“What’s your real name?” Bobby asked when he and the teenager were standing outside. She regarded him fearfully, and didn’t answer. 

“Is it just a coincidence that her name is Candy, and yours is Sweet Tart?” Bobby asked. “Or is it deliberate?”

“We all got names like that,” she said. “Candy, Sweet Tart, Peppermint, Liquorice, names like that,” she said. 

“What was Sally-Jean’s” Bobby asked.

She hesitated only a moment before answering, “Gumdrop. What do you want with her anyway?”

“Sally-Jean is missing,” Bobby said. “I just want to try and help her. Do you think you could tell me your real name?”

“Andrea…. Andrea Goodman,” she replied. 

“How old are you Andrea?” Bobby asked. 

“Nineteen,” she replied. 

“Look,” Bobby said, “I know Sally-Jean is fourteen, I’m not here to jam you up, I just want any information you can give me.”

“All right I’m 15,” Andrea replied. 

“Do you know where Sally-Jean lives?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah, I’ll write down the address for you,” Andrea replied. 

Bobby took the paper from her hand. “Thank you,” he said. 

“Whatever,” Andrea replied. “I hope you find her.”

“Be careful,” Bobby said.

“Just make sure Sally-Jean’s okay,” Andrea said. With a last nervous smile, she turned and went back into the club. 

 

Bobby headed to Sally-Jean’s apartment. It was half the size of Bobby’s, and even his was rather small. There were no pictures on the wall, and the only furniture was an old armchair. Bobby peeked into the tiny bedroom. The raggedy old mattress took up half the room. A pile of clothes lay in the corner. There were some raggedy blankets on the bed. Other than that, the room was empty. 

Bobby went and looked in the bathroom. There was just enough room for someone to take one step, and that was it. He opened the medicine cabinet. A single bottle of Advil, a toothbrush, and toothpaste sat there. 

There was nothing to learn from her apartment. 

 

As soon as Bobby arrived at his apartment, he rushed over to the table where he left the McKellen file. 

“Where are you?” Bobby demanded. He grabbed his phone and punched in Carolyn’s number. 

“Bobby what is so important that couldn’t wait until work?” Carolyn asked. Bobby checked the clock. It was 6 in the morning. 

“Matthew kidnapped Sally-Jean 3 hours ago,” Bobby said.

“Three hours ago, why are you just calling me now?” she demanded. 

“I don’t know,” Bobby replied. It was a lie. But he had to tell her a lie because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. He hadn’t called because Carolyn wasn’t Alex. And that wasn’t her fault.

“I’m sorry Carolyn,” Bobby said sadly.

“That’s all right,” she sighed. “I’ll see you at the office.”

“I’ll be late this morning,” Bobby said. 

“Why?” Carolyn asked.

“I’m going to see Alex first, I might not get to later,” he replied.

“Okay,” she said.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

 

Bobby peeked into Alex’s room. It was 6:30, so she was probably still asleep. He walked over to her bed quietly. He sat down, and the chair slid back, making a loud sound. 

Her eyes flashed open, looking alarmed. Her face immediately relaxed when she saw it was Bobby.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” he apologized.

“I’m glad you did,” she replied. “You’re here early.”

“Yeah,” Bobby said, deciding not to elaborate. 

“Can we go outside?” Alex asked.

“Sure,” Bobby replied. He brought the wheelchair over. 

When she came out from under the blankets, he saw that she was wearing street clothes. 

“You’re out of the hospital clothes?” he asked. 

“Yeah, Mom brought them from home. She said that I should wear pyjamas for sleeping, but I liked the feel of wearing normal clothes,” she said with a smile.   
She saw him reach for her arm. “I can do it Bobby,” she said. She pulled herself off the bed and into the wheelchair. “I can do lots of things.”

Bobby smiled, and pushed the wheelchair to the elevator. He followed the same path that Penny had, and soon Alex and Bobby were outside. It was chilly in the morning, and Alex was shivering. Bobby mentally kicked himself for not thinking of getting her a jacket or sweater. Instead, he wrapped his jacket around her shoulders. 

“Thanks,” she said, smiling. 

They sat next to each other in silence for awhile. Then Alex turned to Bobby and said wistfully, “I wish I could remember you Bobby.” 

“Just the fact that you’re awake is good enough,” Bobby said, “We can make new memories.” 

“I just feel like I’m almost there, like if I could just get past this block that I could remember. It’s like looking through a glass wall, and not being able to find a door to get through,” she said.

“It’s okay Alex,” Bobby said, unable to think of anything else to say. “I’m sorry.” They sat in silence for another couple of minutes. 

“Bobby no one will tell me what happened,” she said. “I want to know. Please tell me how I got hurt.” 

“Alex, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he replied. 

She mumbled something unintelligible, but obviously wasn’t happy with his answer. 

“I have the right to know,” she said, her eyes boring into his. 

“Okay,” Bobby said. “I’ll tell you.”

She leaned forward, her expression serious. 

“We were trying to find a criminal. He called, and wanted a meeting. When we got there, he shot you,” Bobby said, trying to make it as short and unemotional as possible. He didn't want to completely break down in front of her. 

“What did he do?” Alex asked. “Why were we trying to catch him?”

“He murdered four women, and ate their bodies after they were dead.” Bobby looked up and was shocked to see that Alex was smiling. She was shaking, and at first Bobby wondered if she was crying. But then why was she smiling? 

“He ate them?” she asked. “Like food?” she started laughing hysterically. Bobby realized it was the first time he had seen her laugh, since she woke up. He started laughing too, just because she was. The garden was filled with their laughter. Her eyes shone, just like they always did when she laughed. 

He looked at her, and it felt almost normal. He thought about everything that had changed. Her hair was still gone from one side of her head, and the white bandage covered it. Her speech was still slightly slurred, but he was used to that now. And then, of course, she had lost her memory. But here she was laughing with him. 

They laughed until they were lying on the ground with tears streaming out of their eyes. They laughed until they had forgotten what they were laughing about. Then it hit him. It was the first time he had laughed too. 

 

Bobby walked into the office, and sat down at his desk. He wanted to find Matthew and Sally-Jean, but where could he look! He didn’t know, and that made him angry. He slammed his fist on the desk, ignoring the looks others were giving him. 

Carolyn was sitting across from him, at Alex’s desk. It was a sight he had gotten used to, and that bothered him. Then his cell phone rang. 

“Goren,” Bobby answered. 

“Bobby, oh God, Bobby, is, is she with you?” It was Penny.

“What do you mean?” Bobby asked, a sinking feeling in his stomach. 

“Is Alex with you?” she asked again, fear making her voice shake. 

“No,” Bobby replied, now feeling like he was going to throw up. 

“She’s gone,” Penny said. “She’s gone.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Bobby ran into the hospital, where he met John and Penny Eames. 

“We searched every floor, and outside, but we can’t find her!” Penny sobbed when she saw Bobby. 

Bobby took a breath to try and say something comforting to her when he was distracted by a woman running up to the nurses station with a panicked expression on her face. 

“Where’s my baby?” she demanded. “My baby is missing!” she started sobbing uncontrollably. 

“What’s your child’s name?” the nurse asked. 

“Melissa,” the mother replied. “Melissa Hollander.”

Bobby rushed up to the nurse’s station. “We need the security tapes,” he said

“Who are you?” Mrs. Hollander asked.

“Bobby Goren,” Bobby said, holding out his hand. “We will find your daughter,” he added.

“Mallory Hollander,” the woman said shakily. “Why were you here?” she asked.

“My friend is missing too,” Bobby replied. 

 

Soon Bobby, Carolyn, Ross, Logan, and Wheeler were looking at the security tapes. He had suggested that Mr. and Mrs. Hollander, and Mr. and Mrs. Eames wait outside; just in case Alex and Melissa had decided to go for a walk outside the hospital, and would come back. It was highly doubtful. 

On the security tape, Melissa was walking up to the nurse’s station. She talked to the nurse, who pointed in the direction of Alex’s room. While Melissa walked to Alex’s room, a man went over to the nurse’s station. As Bobby suspected and feared, it was Matthew McKellen. He talked to the nurse until Alex and Melissa came back, holding hands. Matthew said something to them, and started to walk away. 

“Don’t go with him,” Bobby whispered, even though he knew it was pointless. Alex and Melissa followed him, without even a backward glance.

 

Bobby went out to where the Eames’s and the Hollanders were waiting. 

“Was it him?” John asked. 

Bobby nodded his head, trying to avoid making eye contact. Penny gasped, and slapped her hand over her mouth. 

“Who?” Mallory asked. “Who kidnapped our baby?”

Bobby held up a photo of Matthew McKellen. “Do you recognize this man?” he asked. 

“That’s Matthew,” Mallory said, looking at the picture. 

“Who’s Matthew?” Mr. Hollander asked. 

“Matthew’s my nephew,” Mallory replied. “I told him to never come near Melissa, why would he do this?” she demanded. 

“I don’t know,” Bobby answered. 

“Bobby, what would he want with Alex?” John asked. “Hasn’t what he’s already done been enough?”

“I’m sorry Mr. Eames,” Bobby said. “I will do everything I can to find her.”

“I hope he’s not hurting her,” Penny whispered. 

 

Logan and Wheeler were trying to comfort the Eames’s and the Hollander’s, Ross was running interference between the chief of D’s and Bobby, while Bobby himself went to question the nurse at the nurses station. 

“Why did you let Alexandra Eames and Melissa Hollander leave with this man?” Bobby asked. 

“Well, he said that the little girl was his daughter, and that the woman was his wife,” the nurse said. “He told the woman and the little girl that they were going to meet someone, a father and daughter I assumed,” she said. 

“Why is that?” Bobby asked.

“Well, he said that the little girl had a play date with someone named Sally so I assumed it was another little girl. Then he told the woman that she was going to see her friend, I assumed he was the father of the girl.”

“What was his name?” Bobby asked.

“Umm, he said the man’s name was Bobby. She looked really exited to be going to see him. Her and the little girl were both exited.”

Bobby’s face paled. She thought she was going to go and see him, and instead she was going with the same criminal they were trying to catch, the one they had laughed at just that morning. 

“Are you okay?” the nurse asked. He was backing away from the nurse’s station shaking his head. He felt like he was going to throw up. Alex trusted him, so she went with Matt. He had got her into trouble again, and this time, she didn’t know what she was getting into at all. 

 

Bobby was pacing around his and Alex’s desks. Circling over and over, thinking. He was trying to find out something that could help him, anything to try and find them. 

Carolyn ran up to Bobby, who didn’t see her coming, and they crashed into each other. 

“Sorry,” Bobby said. 

“A man said he thought he saw Matthew, Alex and Melissa go into an abandoned building next to his house,” she said excitedly. 

“Did you all for backup?” Bobby asked, as he raced towards the elevator. 

“Yes,” Carolyn replied, breaking into a run to catch up to him. 

 

Bobby stood outside the door of the abandoned building, his heart pounding in his chest. They could already be too late, or the man could have been mistaken, and it wasn’t them at all. 

Bobby stared at Carolyn, and began to count with his fingers, one…two…

He remembered the last time this had happened. This time though, he had backup. 

…Three.

“Police!” Bobby shouted, as he kicked down the door. 

Bobby rushed into the building, towards the door at the end of the hall. He kicked it open. “Call a bus!” he shouted. Matthew was gone. But he had left the hostages. Sally-Jean lay on a bed; the left side of her face now as damaged as the right side. She didn’t move when the door opened. 

Melissa however, screamed at the top of her lungs. Her hands were tied to the wall, and other than the restraint marks, she wasn’t hurt. 

Alex lay on the floor, a few feet away from where Melissa was. There was a pool of blood around her head. 

Bobby didn’t know who to go to first. He stood in shock, and took in the scene. He stood only for a second before rushing to Alex. 

“I’m here Alex,” he whispered. He reached forward, and checked for a pulse. She was alive. He could hear Carolyn whispering to Melissa as she tried to get her free. He could hear an officer say that Sally-Jean was still alive. 

Next thing he knew, the paramedics had come through the door. Alex and Sally-Jean were strapped to gurneys, but Melissa was able to walk out by herself. 

Bobby hopped into the ambulance with Alex, Sally-Jean, and Melissa. Suddenly, Alex opened her eyes. 

“Alex,” he gasped. 

“Bobby,” she whispered weakly. “You weren’t there… why weren’t you there?” Then her eyes fell closed again. 

“Alex! He called. 

“We’re losing her,” the paramedic shouted. 

And then, Bobby couldn’t believe what happened next. He fainted.

 

Bobby woke up in a white room. Everything was white. Except one thing. He tried to focus on the spot of colour. 

_“Bobby…”_

He could hear a voice. It was a woman’s voice. He blinked again, trying to focus on the spot of colour. It was a woman. Was she same woman that had spoken to him?

He blinked one more time to try and clear the fog from his head. The woman came in to focus. It was Carolyn. 

“Bobby, can you hear me?” she asked. 

“What’s going on?” he demanded. 

“Well, the doctor said you hadn’t eaten anything for a couple days, not to mention all the stress you’ve been under. You just fainted,” Carolyn said. 

Suddenly it all came back to him. Matthew, Alex, Sally-Jean, Melissa, the images flashed through his head like a movie on fast forward. 

“Alex?” he asked. 

“She’s in surgery, we don’t know anything yet,” she replied. 

“Surgery, what happened?” Bobby demanded, as he ripped the I.V out of his arm. 

“She got hit over the head with a blunt object, they’re trying to lower the swelling in her brain, what are you doing?” Carolyn demanded as Bobby got up and searched for his clothes. 

“I’m getting dressed, as soon as I find my clothes. How’s Sally-Jean?” Bobby asked.

Carolyn frowned at him, but knew better than to try and stop him. “She was drugged, she’s in another room.” 

Bobby looked over at her, but she avoided eye contact. “What aren’t you telling me?” he asked. 

“There are special victims unit detectives talking to her right now. They want to talk to you as well,” Carolyn said. 

“She was… she was raped?” Bobby demanded. Carolyn nodded. 

Bobby grabbed his clothes. “I’ll, um, I’ll close the door behind me,” Carolyn said awkwardly, and left. Bobby yanked on his clothes, and rushed out of the room. 

He went out the door, and searched for the familiar faces of John and Penny Eames. He found them in the ER waiting room. 

“Bobby, I thought you were hurt,” Penny said when she caught sight of him. 

“I’m fine,” Bobby said. He was angry that she was worried about him when he was the one that had put her daughter at risk in the first place. 

“I…I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t find her sooner,” Bobby said. He waited for her to get angry but she didn’t. She and her husband looked ill with worry, and fatigue. They looked so much older than in the pictures of them that Alex kept on her desk at work. 

“Bobby, it isn’t your fault. None of it is,” Penny said tiredly. 

“It’s my fault, it is,” Bobby insisted. “Matthew was after me, if she didn’t know me, if it wasn’t for me, she would never have been dragged into this.”

He was now trying to make her angry. Anything was better than her feeling sorry for him. He didn’t want her to feel sorry for him, when he was the one who had nearly killed her daughter. 

“Bobby,” John said seriously. “You need to stop blaming yourself. Alex wouldn’t, and she needs you to be strong. We don’t blame you Bobby. No one does. The only one blaming you is you. I’m too tired to try and convince you otherwise, so please, just forgive yourself so you can be strong for Alex. Just do that, if not for you, than for her.”

“I can’t,” Bobby told him. Images flashed through his mind. Alex before, on the floor of the shack, her eyes taped shut, the confused expression on her face, lying in the abandoned building and her expression as she asked him why he wasn’t there… 

John sighed. “You hold the weight of the world on your shoulders. If only you could learn to let other people help you carry it.”

Bobby tried to think of something to say, then decided that there was nothing to say. Penny reached out and took her husband’s hand. Then she reached for Bobby’s. At first he felt awkward holding her hand. She squeezed harder, and Bobby squeezed back. He found that there was comfort in holding Penny’s hand. 

 

Bobby sat, holding Penny’s hand. She squeezed it until it hurt, but he welcomed the physical pain. With each throb in his hand, or in his head, he thought about what he could have done to protect her. 

The security tapes were time stamped. Matthew took Alex and Melissa 15 minutes after Bobby left. If he had just stayed a little longer…

“John, Penny…Bobby,” a familiar voice said. It was Dr. Marshall. 

“Dr. Marshall, is she okay, please tell me she’s okay,” Penny begged, her eyes filling with tears. 

“I’m sorry, we did everything we could,” Dr. Marshall said resignedly. 

Penny started sobbing uncontrollably, while John stiffened to the point where his back was as straight as a measuring stick. 

“She’s dead?” John asked. 

“Technically no,” Dr. Marshall replied. 

“What the hell does that mean?” Penny squeaked. 

“You’re daughter is on life support,” Dr. Marshall started. 

“She made it once, she can do it again,” John interrupted. 

“Not this time,” Dr. Marshall said. 

“Why the hell not?” Penny demanded.

“There is no activity in Ms. Eames’s brain. She doesn’t respond to stimuli, and she doesn’t have a conscious thought. Machines are keeping her alive, if we turned them off; she would die almost immediately. I’m sorry, Ms. Eames is brain dead.”


	18. Chapter Eighteen

“Brain dead?” Bobby asked. It was the first time he had spoken. 

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Marshall said. “Her brain was still trying to fix itself from it’s last attack, getting hit over the head when her brain was still trying to fix itself was too much, and she’s shut down.” 

“But, but she spoke to me in the ambulance!” Bobby shouted. “She talked to me just then, how could she have shut down?”

“I’m sorry, but her condition will never improve. The shell of Alexandra Eames can stay here for years, but she is dead. All that’s left is for you to let her body go,” Dr. Marshall said. He spoke in a calm professional tone, not showing any emotion. He had probably delivered this same news to many families. 

“I want to see her,” Penny whispered. 

“Of course,” Dr. Marshall replied. He led them to the ICU. She was right back in the same room. She had been recovering. Now she was back in room 310 again. She was going to die in a hospital room. The same room where she had been kept prisoner in her body before. Only now there was no hope of her ever getting better. 

She lay in that same bed, with the familiar wires and tubes, the familiar beeping and humming. Bobby saw that her eyes weren’t taped shut. 

“Her eyes?” Bobby asked. The two simple words were enough to figure out what he was asking. 

“She won’t open them,” Dr. Marshall said. “Her reflexes don’t work anymore. 

Penny and John leaned over Alex’s body. 

“Why did this happen to you, baby,” Penny asked. 

John wrapped his arms around his wife while she sobbed. 

Bobby walked over and looked at her. Her face was blank. She didn’t look like she was sleeping. She didn’t look peaceful. She just looked blank. He remembered the expression on her face when she had asked why he wasn’t there. It had been a mixture of confusion, sadness, and betrayal. The hurt in her eyes sent pain straight through Bobby’s heart. Hurt was the last thing he had seen in her eyes before they closed for the last time. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. 

Penny turned around. “What did she say?” Penny asked. 

“When?” Bobby asked, 

“In the ambulance, what did my baby say to you?” Penny asked. 

“She asked me why I wasn’t there,” Bobby said. “Why I didn’t save her.” He looked straight into Penny’s eyes as he told her. There was no point in being a coward and turning away. 

Penny grabbed the front of his shirt and though she was much smaller, she swung him forward and back while she cried. Then she wrapped one arm around her husband’s neck, and continued to grip Bobby’s shirt with the other. Though neither John nor Bobby cried, their pain was no less. 

 

Alex’s family had been dropping by all day to say their goodbyes. Ross, Wheeler, Mike, and Carolyn had all been in already. Other detectives from the Major Case Squad had shown up, but Carolyn had sent them away, telling them they could wait until the funeral. Only people who actually knew her were allowed into her room, while her heart was still beating. 

The funeral was set for 3 days later. It felt strange to think about her funeral when she was still alive. He didn’t want to face the fact that she was already dead. Dr. Marshall had shown him the charts monitoring her brain activity. He could see that there was none. Not even a hint of a thought. 

Mike was a constant companion. As soon as he heard the news, he had come to the hospital. He hadn’t left Bobby’s side since he got there. He hadn’t said anything, except that he was sorry. 

Bobby was sitting in the same white chair that he had sat in when Alex was in a coma the first time. Mike stood in the doorway, offering silent support. 

“Bobby, can you come here please?” Penny asked, poking her head in the room. 

“I’ll be in the cafeteria,” Mike said. 

Bobby nodded, and went to join Penny. She led him outside, to her car. She opened the trunk, and then reached inside to open a box. In the box was a headstone. It was labeled with Alex’s name, her date of birth and her date of death, that day. Underneath it said: Daughter, Sister, Friend. She will live forever in our hearts. 

“It’s…it’s…” Bobby struggled to think of something to say. 

“Does the inscription work for you?” Penny asked. “John thought it was appropriate, but I want to know what you think,” she asked, her pain filled eyes boring into his. 

“Yes,” Bobby said. “It’s appropriate.” 

There really wasn’t anything else to say. It was Alex’s gravestone. She was really dying. It was so hard to imagine. He almost wished someone would kill him too. 

“I’ve got to go and find Mike,” Bobby said. 

“We hope we’ll see you after the funeral,” Penny said. “You were important to our daughter, and you’re important to us.”

“You don’t know how much that means to me,” Bobby whispered. “Thank you.” He doubted he’d ever be able to face John and Penny after Alex was dead. What would he say to them? All the same, he appreciated what Penny had said. 

 

Bobby was sitting in Alex’s room again when he heard a knock on the door. He turned and saw Melissa, with her parents. 

“Hi Melissa,” he said, and attempted a smile.

“Hello Bobby,” she said, her violet eyes filled with tears. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. 

“Bethany’s dead,” Melissa sobbed. “I went to see her and she was already dead. I thought you and Alex should know.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Bobby whispered, after the shock had worn off. 

The little girl nodded. “I gotta go now,” she sniffed. “Bye Bobby.”

Bethany was dead. An innocent child had died. Bobby closed his eyes and remembered little Bethany coming to look for Sally-Jean with Erika. It seemed so long ago. 

Bethany was dead. Alex was dying. Sally-Jean had been raped. Melissa had been kidnapped, probably emotionally scarred for her life, however short it might be. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. Yet that was it. 

“Bobby,” Penny said. “It’s time.”

Bobby started shaking. “I know,” he whispered. He stepped back while Alex’s parents said goodbye one more time while she was still technically alive. Then he walked forward. 

“I love you,” he whispered. He laid his hand on her cheek, and closed his eyes. Then he stepped back. 

Penny gripped both men’s hands, and they gripped back, hard. Dr. Marshall stepped forward, reaching over to the machines. 

Suddenly, a nurse rushed in the room, skidding to a halt, panting for breath. 

“Dr. Marshall,” she gasped. 

“I hope this is important!” Dr. Marshall said angrily. 

“Don’t…don’t turn off life support,” she gasped. 

“Why, what’s wrong?” John asked. 

The nurse walked over to Dr. Marshall and handed him a piece of paper. “This is Ms. Eames’s toxicology report.”

“That’s not possible,” Dr. Marshall said. “This drug should have killed her.”

“Not if she was on life support,” the nurse answered. 

“Still, this doesn’t explain why she’s brain dead,” Dr. Marshall argued. 

Then he frowned, and walked over to the machine monitoring Alex’s brain activity. He grabbed one of the wires, and observed it closely. Then he went to the phone in the room. 

“I need a technician to examine an EEG in room 310,” Dr. Marshall said, “And bring a new one up as well.”

“What’s happening Dr. Marshall?” Penny asked. 

“I think there’s been a terrible mistake,” Dr. Marshall replied. 

“You mean she’s not actually brain dead?” Bobby demanded. 

“I need to wait for the EEG to make sure, but I’m almost certain that we were mistaken.”

“You were mistaken?” John thundered. 

“We would have killed her for nothing,” Penny whispered. 

 

Twenty minutes later Alex was hooked up to a working EEG machine. The lines moved up and down, showing Alex’s brain activity. It was the most beautiful sight Bobby had ever seen. 

He was sitting on one side of her bed, John and Penny on the other. 

“You’re going to be okay now,” Penny was saying to Alex. “Everything is going to be all right.” 

Just then Dr. Marshall walked in. 

“What happened?” John demanded. 

“Ms. Eames had been drugged, it’s a drug that paralyzes, but the dose given to Ms. Eames would have killed her, if she hadn’t been hooked up to life support. This does not account for the fact that she had no brain activity. The technician found that the EEG had been tampered with.”

“Tampered with?” Penny asked. “Someone deliberately tried to kill our daughter?” 

“Yes,” Dr. Marshall replied. “But the drug in her system should have started to wear off. She should have started waking up by now. However, this hasn’t happened. The level of it in her system indicates that it has been given to her again. I have already arranged for security to give the surveillance tapes to your captain, Detective Goren. “

“Will Alexandra wake up?” John asked. 

Dr. Marshal smiled. “We have gotten as much of the drug out of her system as possible, she’ll be fine. She should be waking up soon.”

“Thank God,” John sighed. He and Penny looked exhausted, but relieved. Bobby felt emotionally drained, barely able to stand. 

He flopped down next to Alex’s bed. 

“When will she wake up?” Bobby asked. 

“Not for a couple hours,” Dr. Marshall replied. 

Bobby needed her to look at him; he wanted to see for himself that she was really all right. 

 

Alex’s eyes blinked open. She was looking right at Bobby. He grabbed a cup of water, and held the straw up to her lips. 

“Bobby,” she whispered, after she had drunk what she wanted. Then she frowned. “He tricked me.”

“I’m so sorry Alex,” Bobby whispered. 

“It’s not your fault,” she said, with an expression of mild surprise on her face. “I knew you’d find me,” she added. 

“Alex, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Penny said. 

“Hi Mom, Dad,” she said, turning to them and offering a smile. 

“We were worried about you sweetheart,” John said, tears in his eyes. 

“Don’t cry,” Alex told her parents. “I’m fine. Bobby found me, just like I knew he would.” 

“Yes, thank you Bobby,” Penny said to Bobby through her tears. Her eyes weren’t just shining with tears. They were shining with gratitude too. 

“There were other people, two girls,” Alex said. “He was really hurting the older one,” Alex said. “Are they okay?”

“Melissa, the little girl, is fine, she wasn’t hurt,” Bobby said. “Sally-Jean is okay, the hospital released her.” 

He had tried to talk to Sally-Jean, but all she had said was that she was going home, and she didn’t want Bobby to follow. He had given her his card again, but she had thrown it out, and left. There really wasn’t anything else he could do, or so he thought at the time. He had been so worried about Alex…

 _I should have done something else, he thought._

“I’m glad they’re okay,” Alex said. 

Bobby smiled. He was going to prove that Matthew was behind Alex’s attempted murder, twice.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

“I would have thought that someone with McKellen’s personality would have wanted to kill Eames himself,” Mike said to Bobby. 

They were sitting in front of the TV in a conference room, about to watch the hospital surveillance tapes. 

“In most circumstances I would agree with you,” Bobby said. “But Matthew would have gotten off on the fact that we agreed to let Dr. Marshall pull the plug; so technically we killed her.” Bobby was horrified by the thought that it really had almost happened. 

Mike shook his head in disgust, and pressed play on the VCR. 

“She had to have been drugged again right about now,” Bobby said. 

There’s Dr. Marshall,” Bobby said. “There’s me coming back from seeing Sally-Jean.”

They sat and watched. And watched.

“Where are you Matthew?” Bobby muttered under his breath. 

“Bobby,” Mike said, “No one else went into the room.”

Bobby rewound the tape. “Maybe there was time taken out of the tape,” he said. They watched carefully, but there was no missing time. 

“Dr. Marshall?” Mike asked. 

Bobby rewound again and focussed on Dr. Marshall. He pulled a syringe out of his pocket, just before going into Alex’s room. 

Bobby suddenly remembered Dr. Marshall injecting something into Alex’s IV. He hadn’t thought anything of it; doctors had been giving Alex injections since she was first in the hospital. 

“No,” Bobby said out loud. “The nurses did.”

He rushed out of the room and to his laptop, and began typing and clicking. A couple seconds later, he turned to Mike and said, “There is no Dr. Marshall matching Alex’s doctor’s description.” 

“The hospital will have a home address for him,” Mike said. 

 

“NYPD, we have a warrant!” Bobby shouted through the door. When there was no answer, he kicked the door open and rushed in. 

“Damn it!” Bobby shouted. Dr. Marshall was sitting on the couch, his face blown away by a gunshot wound. “He was the only one who could link McKellen to Alex’s attempted murder! Damn it!” 

Bobby rushed out of the room angrily. Mike hesitated a second before following. 

“Bobby,” he said. “We might not be able to get him for Alex’s second attempted murder, but we’ll get him for 7 counts of murder, 2 counts of attempted murder, and 3 counts of kidnapping. With his record, there’s no way he’ll ever get out.”

“I know,” Bobby replied. “I just wanted to get him for everything. With Dr. Marshall…or whoever he is…dead now, we can’t charge him as a co-conspirator, so no one will pay for what almost happened,” Bobby said. 

“CSU will be here soon,” Mike said, changing the subject. 

“Can you take care of it?” Bobby asked. “I want to go see Alex…make sure Matthew’s not trying to kill her again.”

“Bobby,” Mike said tentatively. 

“What?” Bobby asked. 

“How come you’re not telling Eames what she means to you, what you meant to her?” Mike looked right into Bobby’s eyes, silently demanding an honest answer. 

“I don’t know what I meant to her,” Bobby replied. “And now I might never know.”

“But if you reminded her…” Mike tried.

“No,” Bobby said firmly. “I’m not going to try and force her to care about me. Reminding her will only make her feel guilty that she can’t remember.” 

“So you’re pain is worth it?” Mike asked. 

“Yes,” Bobby replied. He started to walk away.

“If you never tell her…you’ll always wonder what would have happened if you had,” Mike called after Bobby’s retreating back. 

Bobby spun around to face his friend. “It’s too late for that,” Bobby said. 

Mike didn’t say anything else and let Bobby leave.

 

“Hey Alex,” Bobby said. 

“Hello Bobby,” she replied. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Bobby asked. 

“Yes,” she replied. “But I wish I knew what happened, the last thing I remember is that man hitting me,” she said. “And he did that just after we got there.”

“That’s okay Alex,” Bobby said. “Everyone is just glad that you and the others are okay.” 

“Melissa came to see me,” Alex said with a smile. 

“Oh yeah?” Bobby asked. “What did you guys talk about?”

“Family,” Alex replied. “And friends. How important they are. Melissa says her parents come and see her every day, and they’d come see her even more often if they didn’t have to work. She said when she’s lucky, her parents’ friends will come too, and bring their daughter. Now that Bethany’s dead, she has no other friends. She must get lonely.”

Bobby nodded. 

“Why does she have cancer?” Alex demanded angrily. “She’s so sweet, she doesn’t deserve this.”

“Most people don’t deserve what they get,” Bobby said. 

“I know,” Alex said. “But it doesn’t make me any less angry about it.”

 

“Dr. Marshall’s real name is Lester Harbors,” Carolyn told Bobby at work the next morning. “His luds show calls to a pre-paid cell phone.”

“Matthew,” Bobby said. 

“We can assume so,” Carolyn replied. 

Bobby and Carolyn sat in silence for a couple seconds. 

“Goren, Barek,” Ross said. 

“Yes captain,” Carolyn responded. 

“You’ve got another case.” 

And so another horribly lonely workday began for Bobby.

 

Bobby was sitting in Alex’s room, with her and her parents. Penny was brushing Alex’s hair. Alex had said that she could brush her own hair, but Penny had wanted to so much that Alex had relented. 

John was telling Alex stories from her childhood. 

“When you were a teenager, you had so many boyfriends, your mother and I could barely keep track of them. And each time you announced that you had a new guy I would always say: if he ever hurts you… and you would always reply: Dad, don’t worry-“

“I know where you keep your gun,” Alex finished. 

Penny stopped brushing her daughter’s hair, and stared at her. John looked equally thunderstruck. 

“Did we already tell you that story sweetheart?” John asked.

“No…” Alex said. She paused, and then an expression of pure elation crossed her face. “I remember!” she shouted. “I remember!” She closed her eyes. “I can see you worried face, and I remember every time I said that, it made some of that worry leave.”

“You’re starting to get your memory back,” Bobby whispered, almost not daring to hope that it could happen. 

“I think so,” Alex said. 

 

A month had passed since Alex had started getting her memory back, and Bobby was still no closer to catching Matthew. The man had vanished.

Bobby was walking to Alex’s room, wondering if she had remembered anything new. She remembered up to her police academy graduation, but the rest was still fuzzy. 

When Bobby walked in, Penny was sitting with Alex, and they were flipping through one of the photo albums Penny had made. 

“Hey Bobby,” Alex said without looking up. 

“How did you know it was me?” Bobby asked. 

“It’s my sixth sense,” she replied, making Bobby grin. Her humor had started coming back with her memory. 

Bobby sat down next to her, and she continued flipping through the album. Suddenly she stopped and stared at one of the pictures. It was of her, Joe, and a couple of friends. She ran her hand gently over the picture.

“Joe...” she whispered. She looked up, and looked from her mother to Bobby, then back at Penny. 

“Where’s Joe?” she demanded. 

“Alex…” Penny whispered. 

“No, he would be here! My husband would be here! Where is he?” Alex shouted, tears filling her eyes. 

“I’m sorry Alex, Joe died, years ago,” Penny whispered. 

“What?” Alex whispered. “Dead? He’s dead…”

“I’m sorry,” Penny said. Bobby just squeezed her hand gently.

“What’s the point in getting my memory back, just to find out that people that I cared about are dead!” she cried. 

“Because isn’t it better to remember Joe, even though he died, than to never remember him at all?” Bobby asked. 

Alex turned and glared at him. “Get out!” she shouted. “Get out both of you. I just want to be alone.”

 

Bobby and Carolyn were in the SUV, going back to the office. 

“So, how much has Alex remembered now?” Carolyn asked tentatively. 

“She remembers her husband,” Bobby said, not looking at her. 

“Oh,” Carolyn said, not knowing how to react, because of Bobby’s tone.

“She got a bit of a rude awakening finding out he had died years ago,” Bobby added.

“That’s horrible,” Carolyn whispered. 

“Yes,” Bobby said. “It is.”

They drove in silence the rest of the way.

 

Bobby and Carolyn walked out of the elevator, onto the eleventh floor. 

“There’s a hostage situation, involving Matthew and Sally-Jean,” Mike said, rushing up to them. 

“Again?” Bobby asked, immediately switching directions.

“You’ve got it backwards,” Mike said. “She has him hostage.”


	20. Chapter Twenty

“We evacuated the building, it’s just the girl and the hostage inside, in her apartment,” an officer told Bobby. “We tried to make contact, but she won’t respond. We were called in when a neighbor heard a gunshot. The same neighbor said the man walked in with a gun, but when we got a visual, she was holding the gun on him.” 

“Let me talk to her alone,” Bobby said. Without waiting for a response, he pulled on a bulletproof vest and headed for the building. 

“Bobby,” Carolyn said, “You shouldn’t go in there without backup.”

“I know her Carolyn,” Bobby said. “She won’t shoot me.”

“Sniper doesn’t have a shot…be careful Bobby,” Carolyn pleaded.

Bobby nodded and walked into the building, headed straight for Sally-Jean’s apartment. He knocked on the door.

“Sally?” he asked. “I’m coming in.”

He opened the door, walked in, and closed the door behind him. 

Matthew was on his knees; Sally-Jean was behind him, pointing a gun at the back of his head. Matthew’s hand was bleeding freely, and a gun lay a couple feet away. 

“You can’t stop me Bobby,” Sally said. “He will be punished today.”

“We have a strong case against him,” Bobby said. “He’ll go to jail for the rest of his life.”

“You know the legal system Bobby,” Sally-Jean said. “A life sentence isn’t a life sentence, prison is probation…he’ll get off, he always does.”

“How did you find him?” Bobby asked instead. 

“I didn’t have to,” Sally replied. “I knew he’d find me, and I was ready. I carried the gun around with me…waiting. I heard the door open, and I knew it was him. He had his gun, but I shot him in the hand, and he dropped it. I took it away, and now I’m in control, for the first time in my life.”

“How did you get him in the hand?” Bobby asked,

“Practice makes perfect,” she replied. “I practiced until I knew I wouldn’t miss my target.” 

“Don’t do this Sally,” Bobby pleaded.

“Why not?” she asked. “Why should this piece of garbage get to live? Don’t you want him to die for what he did?”

“I want him to go to jail for the rest of his life,” Bobby replied. “If you kill him you’ll go to jail, and then he’ll win.”

She paused and considered what he said, then shook her head. “I’m not afraid of prison,” she said. 

“What about your mother?” Bobby asked. 

“What about her?” Sally-Jean asked. 

“What’s going to happen to her if you go to jail? You’re the one who’s been paying for her care, without you what happens to her?”

Sally-Jean frowned. “My mother never cared for me, I don’t care for her anymore either.”

“That’s not true,” Bobby said. “A child never stops loving their mother.”

“How do you know?” she screamed. 

“I know because my mother was schizophrenic too, she couldn’t take care of me, but I still loved her until the day she died.”

“I’m not falling for your cop bullshit!” she cried. 

“I’m telling the truth,” Bobby said. Sally-Jean frowned, but wasn’t sure she believed him. Bobby started to try another tactic. “Sally if Matthew dies before we charge him the cases of the people he killed stay open. He will never be punished.”

Sally looked undecided. Then she walked around and faced Matt. 

“Tell Bobby what you did.” Matthew stayed silent. 

“If you wanted to kill me Sally-Jean, you would have done it already,” Matthew said.

“Don’t count on it,” she replied. “Tell Bobby what you did,” she repeated. 

When he didn’t respond, she kicked him right in the balls, hard enough that he doubled over in pain, moaning. “Say it!” she screamed. 

“I killed those women, I shot Detective Eames,” Matt muttered. 

Sally-Jean moved behind him again, so that she could face Bobby. “You see?” she said. “You see what he is?” 

“I see,” Bobby said. “But Sally, we still can’t close the case unless we charge him.” 

“Fine,” she said. “His victims’ families will have justice soon enough.”

“Sally why now?” Bobby asked. “Why kill Matthew now?”

“I have no other choice,” she said. 

“Why’s that?” Bobby asked. 

“He… he raped me, and now I’m pregnant,” she said. “I’m always waiting for Matt to come and find me. My baby will never be safe. That’s no life for a kid.”

“Sally-Jean, I promise Matthew will go to jail, just please, don’t do this,” Bobby begged, after getting over the initial shock of the information. 

“You promise?” Sally-Jean asked. “You can’t go back on a promise Bobby. If you promise Matthew will go to jail, he will go to jail, no exceptions,” she said. “If he doesn’t… don’t think I won’t kill him.” 

“I promise,” Bobby said. 

“Get up,” she said to Matt. “Go over to Bobby, and let him arrest you. Be warned, if you don’t do as I say, I won’t miss.” She waved the gun in front of his eyes. 

Matthew started to get up, and then he lunged for the gun on the floor. Bobby whipped his gun out before Sally-Jean could react, and shot Matt, once, right in the same place she had. Matt recoiled, holding his injured hand.

Sally-Jean dropped her gun, and rushed towards Bobby, and threw herself into his arms, sobbing. Bobby wrapped his arms around the skinny teenager, kicked the gun away from Matt, and rocked Sally-Jean while she cried. 

“I don’t know why you care about me Bobby,” she mumbled into his chest, “But you have helped me more than anyone in the whole world. Thank you.” 

Bobby held the girl at arm’s length. She pulled away from him, wiping tears from her face. Bobby cuffed Matt, and pulled him to his feet. He couldn’t resist shoving his thumb into the bullet wound on Matt’s hand. 

“I hope it hurts bastard,” Bobby whispered. 

He walked out, pulling Matthew, Sally-Jean following behind. 

An officer rushed forward, and to Bobby’s horror, began to arrest Sally-Jean. He could see her flinch when he pulled her arm, still wrapped in a bandage, was pulled behind her back. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Bobby demanded angrily. 

“We’re here to arrest Sally-Jean Randall. She is here illegally, and is considered dangerous,” the officer replied.

“That’s bullshit,” Bobby said angrily. 

“She just tried to kill someone,” the officer said. “You don’t think that’s dangerous?” 

He pulled Sally towards his vehicle. “Sally-Jean Randall you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent…”

Matthew grinned broadly, and Bobby shoved him forward, shaking with anger.

 

“Can you stop them?” Bobby demanded. 

“I can try and keep her here temporarily, under crime victim status, but after that there’s nothing I can do,” the ADA said. 

“So she only stays through the trial?” Bobby said. 

“Yes, and then we hand her over to immigration,” the ADA said. 

“Well, I’m going to go and get her for now,” Bobby said. 

“I’ll find a judge, you’ll have your warrant soon.”

 

Sally-Jean was sitting in the cell with her head resting on her knees, drowning out the sound of the rest of the women in the cell. 

“Sally,” Bobby said approaching the cell. 

Sally-Jean turned her head and saw Bobby. “I doubt even you can find a way to get me out of this mess,” she said with a weak smile. 

“Crime victim status,” Bobby said. “They can’t send you away if you’re going to testify against Matthew.”

She raised her eyebrows. “So I can stay?” she asked. 

“Only through the trial, but after that you can petition for permanent status,” Bobby said. 

“Okay,” Sally-Jean said. 

The guard opened the door, and Bobby walked Sally out. 

 

Bobby walked into Alex’s room, and found it empty. He walked out, wondering where she went. 

“If you’re looking for Alex, she’s in Melissa Hollander’s room,” a man Bobby didn’t recognize said. 

“Who are you?” Bobby asked.

“I’m Doctor Edwards, Alex’s new doctor,” the man replied. “I saw you leave her room,” he explained. 

“Thanks,” Bobby said, and hurried to Melissa’s room. 

Bobby knocked on the door. “Melissa, Alex?” he asked. 

He walked in, and saw Alex sitting on the little girl’s bed, a book open on her lap. 

“Hello Bobby,” Melissa said weakly. 

“Hey Melissa,” Bobby said. 

Alex looked coldly at Bobby, and didn’t say anything. 

Melissa looked from one person, to the other, than said, “Alex is reading me ‘The Little Engine That Could’.”

“Do you like it?” Bobby asked, hurt by Alex’s response to him and was trying to cover it. 

“It’s my favorite. Mommy says it’s a good story for me. She says I need to be like the little engine. I need to be strong, and brave, and try to live. I just don’t want to disappoint her.”

“You won’t,” Alex said. “Your mother loves you, no matter what.” 

“I hope she still loves me after I die,” Melissa said. 

“You’re not going to die,” Alex said, gripping the little girl protectively. 

“Everybody dies Alex,” Melissa said. “It’s just a matter of when. Can you read the story again?”

Alex opened the book, and began to read. She could read easily now. And she did. She read with expression, changing her voice for the little engine. 

“I think I can, I think I can,” Alex said in her little engine voice. “And he did,” she finished. 

“A knock sounded on the door. A man, a woman, and a little girl stood in the doorway. 

“Melissa!” Erika cried. 

“Erika, I’m glad you could come,” Melissa said. 

“I can’t stay long,” Erika said. “I can’t believe Bethany died and I never got to see her again,” Erika sobbed. 

“Bethany doesn’t hurt anymore,” Melissa told the other little girl. “She’s all better in heaven.”

“I know,” Erika replied. “But I didn’t want her to die, and I don’t want you to die either. I brought you the wishing stone. It made me all better, and maybe it can make you all better too.” 

Melissa took the decorated stone into her hands, and gripped it tightly. “It’s too late for me now,” Melissa said. “I know I’m going to die. I can feel it.” She gripped the stone even tighter, so that her knuckles turned white, and closed her eyes. Then she surprised everyone by saying, “I wish for everybody to not be too sad when I die,” she said. “I wish for everyone to move on, and be happy again,” she said. “I wish for Mommy and Daddy to smile again. I wish for my brother to be as happy as I am, and I hope that I can find Bethany when I go to heaven.”

“Thank you Erika,” Melissa said, her violet eyes sparkling. 

“But you didn’t wish to live,” Erika said, confused. 

“Some things are more important,” Melissa said. “I’m tired of hurting all the time, I just want everyone to be happy.”

“Erika, sweetheart, we need to leave,” the girl’s mother said, tears in her eyes. 

“Thank you for visiting,” Melissa said. 

Erika waved, and walked away. 

“Melissa, you can’t die,” Alex said, after Erika and her family was gone. 

“Alex, can you please read the story again?” Melissa asked, ignoring what the woman had just said.

Alex opened the book and read the story over and over, until the little girl was asleep. Then she gently got up. 

“Alex,” Bobby said. 

“Bobby, why do you come and visit me every day?” she asked. “I want Joe to be here, and you’re not him. No one can replace him.”

“I’m not trying to replace Joe,” Bobby said, “But I care about you.” Her rejection hurt him more than he could admit. 

“I don’t want to care about you, I don’t want you to care about me. I just want to be left alone.”

Bobby stared at her, unsure of what to say. Her grief for her husband was raw, as fresh as if he had just died. He had just died, in her mind. She had just found out, and so to her, it had just happened. 

Alex brushed past him, and walked out the door, going to her room. Bobby padded out the door as well, the sting of her rejection hurting him worse than any physical pain he had ever felt.


	21. Twenty-One

“We need Eames to testify against McKellen,” the ADA told Bobby.

“She doesn’t remember that he shot her, she doesn’t remember the case at all,” Bobby replied. “What’s the point?”

“She does remember the man who kidnapped her,” the ADA replied. “We need her, and the little Hollander girl too.”

“No, not Melissa,” Bobby said. “She’s too sick to even get out of bed.”

“Fine, but we do need Eames,” the ADA said. “Go tell her.”

Bobby had stopped visiting Alex, doing what she said because it was the only thing he could think of. If she didn’t want to see him, he wasn’t going to force her to, no matter how much it hurt him. But he would rather tell Alex himself than someone else. 

 

Bobby walked into Alex’s room, and found her standing and staring out the window. 

“Alex,” he said nervously.

“It’s raining,” she replied. 

“Yeah,” Bobby said, and walked up to her, staring out the window with her.   
She turned to face him, mixed emotions filling her eyes. “I’m going home soon,” she said, looking out the window again. “Dr. Edwards says I’ve probably remembered everything I ever will.”

Bobby nodded. He wanted to ask how much she remembered, but was afraid of her answer. 

“I go back to work in a couple of weeks,” she said. 

Bobby’s heart leapt, at the same time he was nervous. 

“Alex, the ADA needs you to testify against Matthew,” he told her. 

“I thought so,” she replied. 

“Well, I just wanted to tell you.”

She nodded. Bobby stood next to her a little longer, but when she didn’t acknowledge his presence again, he started to leave. 

“Good-bye,” he said. 

She didn’t turn around.

 

“Detective Goren, you handled the case from the first victim, correct?” the ADA asked. 

“Yes,” Bobby replied. 

“So when you got the call that you assumed was from the killer, you followed,” the ADA said. 

“Objection, leading the witness,” Matthew’s attorney said. 

“Let me rephrase,” the ADA said. “What did you do when you got the call?”

“I thought it must be the killer, so I went to the shack to meet him.”

“And what happened when you got there?”

“The defendant shot my partner.”

“Objection, the witness could not identify my client as the man that shot his partner!” the attorney said. 

“I know it was him!” Bobby cried, jumping to his feet. 

“Objection!” 

“Detective Goren sit down, and no more outbursts!” the judge said. “The jury is asked to disregard the witness’s statement.”

“What happened after you’re partner was shot?” the ADA asked. 

Bobby told the whole story, his fear that his partner would die, his horror at what had happened, his frustration that she was in a coma, his guilt. The joy that she had woken up, the disappointment that she couldn’t remember anything, the rage that he couldn’t catch the man that did this to her. He told of Matthew trying to kill Sally-Jean, the mind games Matthew played with him, Alex, Sally, and Melissa’s kidnapping. He told the whole story, unable to hide his emotions. 

“Nothing further,” the ADA said. 

“Detective Goren, did you suspect my client from the beginning?” the attorney asked. 

“No, originally we suspected the defendant’s father, Mark McKellen,” Bobby said. 

“How do you know it wasn’t him?” the attorney asked. 

“The evidence points towards the defendant,” Bobby said. 

“The evidence, you mean the shell casings?” the attorney asked. 

“Yes, and the defendant’s actions, and DNA at one of the crime scenes,” Bobby replied. 

“The shell casings were handed over by my client’s disturbed girlfriend, his actions are not evidence, and the DNA was only a partial match,” the attorney said. “Isn’t it possible that the shell casings were handed over because the girl was angry at her boyfriend, and wanted to frame him, the DNA match is to the defendant’s father, and the father blamed his son to try and avoid charges?” the attorney asked. 

“That’s not true,” Bobby said.

“But it is possible,” the attorney said. “No further questions.”

“You may step down Detective Goren,” the judge said. Bobby shook with anger, and gave Matthew a look of pure hatred. 

“Call your next witness,” the judge told the ADA.

“The prosecution calls Detective Alexandra Eames.”

Alex walked through the doors at the back of the courtroom, and towards the witness stand. As Bobby walked past her she looked at him. He smiled encouragingly at her. She looked away.

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”

“I do,” Alex replied. 

“State your name for the court.”

“Alexandra Eames.”

“Detective Eames, do you remember the case you were working on before you were shot?” the ADA asked.

“No,” Alex replied. 

“What is the first thing you remember?” the ADA asked. 

“Waking up in the hospital,” Alex replied. 

“And your memory was gone,” the ADA asked. 

“Objection, leading!”

“Your honor, it has already been stated in these proceedings that Detective Eames suffered from temporary amnesia,” the ADA argued.

“Overruled. The witness may answer the question.”

“Yes, I couldn’t remember who I was, or anyone that I knew,” Alex said. 

Though her face was impassive, Bobby could see the pain in her eyes as she remembered waking up for the first time after being shot. 

“Detective Eames, when was the first time you remember meeting the defendant?” the ADA asked.

“In the hospital, when Melissa asked me to come and see her cousin,” Alex said.

“And who did she take you to?”

“The defendant, Matthew McKellen.”

“What did he do?”

“He took the two of us to a building, where there was another girl.”

“Did you know who the other girl was?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“What happened after you got there?”

“I saw the girl, Sally-Jean Randall, and then I just remember feeling something hit me on the head.” 

“Thank you detective. Your witness,” the ADA told Matt’s attorney. 

“Detective Eames, why did you go with my client?”

“He said that he was going to take us to Detective Goren and Melissa’s friend.”

“And you believed him?” the attorney asked. 

“I had no reason not to,” Alex replied icily. 

“Then, you went with my client because you wanted to, not because he forced you to, right?” the man said with a sly grin. “No further questions,” he said quickly, before the ADA could object. 

“You may step down Detective Eames.”

Alex climbed down from the witness stand, and looked over at Bobby for the first time. He held her gaze until she looked away. There was an outpouring of emotion from her eyes, but he couldn’t identify what the emotion was. He figured she probably was feeling so mixed up that she didn’t even know what she was feeling. 

“Court will resume tomorrow,” the judge said. 

“Bobby,” Mike said. Bobby hadn’t even seen or heard his friend approaching. 

“What is it?” Bobby asked. 

“Do you find it strange that Dr. Marshall told you what was wrong with your Eames, he did the tests to find out exactly what was wrong, he got a working EEG machine, he helped her?” Mike said. 

“Where are you going with this?” Bobby asked. He hadn’t thought about it. He, understandably, had other things on his mind. 

“Would you ever have thought that Dr. Marshall would have done something like this?” Mike asked. 

“If I did, don’t you think I would have done something about it?” Bobby asked. 

“Well, I was curious,” Mike said. “So I hung around TARU until they had found the guy’s computer diary. You should look at it.” Mike handed him a print out of the last couple entries in the diary. 

_Some man came up to me today, and wants me to do something horrible. He wants me to tamper with an EEG machine, and drug a patient. If I don’t, he says he will expose the truth: that I’m not who I say I am. I told him no way, but then he threatened to kill me! I was still going to call the cops, when he threatened my son. What was I supposed to do? Cody is only 8 years old, and he has no one else. I don’t want that woman to die, but I have no choice. She’s a cop, I’m sure she’d understand that I have to protect my son._

“He has a son?” Bobby asked. 

“Yes,” Mike replied, “But we can’t find him.”

“I have to talk to Matthew,” Bobby said.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

Matthew, where is he?” Bobby said, the second the attorney and the ADA were seated. 

“Who?” Matt asked with an expression of mock surprise. 

“Cody Marshall, where is he?” Bobby demanded. 

“Somewhere safe,” Matt replied. 

“Tell-me-where-he-is!” Bobby shouted, barely containing his rage. 

“What are you offering?” the attorney asked the ADA. 

“We drop the kidnapping charges for Eames, Melissa, and Sally-Jean, your client pleads guilty to the rest.” 

“A chance of parole must be on the table, then we’ll consider it.”

“No deal!” the ADA said angrily. “I’m taking the death penalty off the table. This is the best deal your client will get.” 

“Twenty-five to life with the possibility of parole,” the attorney said. 

“We’re done here,” the ADA replied, and turned away.

“Then the boy dies,” Matt said.

“Look, I don’t ever want him to get out,” Bobby said. “But we have to find that boy!”

“No, no way!” the ADA replied. “His victims want him away for life, and I can’t authorize a deal, to let this scumbag out! The boy is probably dead by now anyway.”

“You don’t know that,” a familiar voice said from just outside the cell. 

Alex was standing there, a determined expression on her face. 

“Alex, what…what are you doing here?” Bobby asked. 

“Mike told me about Cody. I knew you’d be here,” she replied. 

“I’m sorry Detective Eames, but I can’t make a deal,” the ADA apologized. 

Alex sighed, and then took a deep breath. “He shot me. I lost my memory because of that. I can’t tell you how hard that was for me. I remember now, but that doesn’t change the pain I feel. I want Matthew McKellen to go to jail for the rest of his life, but I can not let Cody Marshall die because of me. The families of the victims, and his victims that are still alive would understand.”

“Detective…his victims will live in constant fear, the families want justice!”

“Let me explain it to them,” Alex said. “But you have to find Cody.”

“If your client’s information leads to finding Cody Marshall, alive, then you get 25 to life with a chance of parole,” the ADA said. 

“Deal,” Matt said, grinning. “The little guy’s at the place where it all started.”

“The warehouse where the first victim was found,” Bobby said. 

“Let’s go,” Alex said. 

“What?” Bobby asked. 

“I’m going with you,” she said. She turned and walked out, Bobby following her. 

 

Bobby looked at Alex. She was concentrating on the road. It was so similar, yet so different. She was driving; she was at his side again. But their easy friendship was gone. They didn’t speak on the way.

 

“Cody!” Alex called. 

“Cody, where are you!” Bobby yelled. 

“Make some kind of noise!” Alex shouted. They rushed into the building.

A blonde head turned to them. “Who are you?” a scared voice asked. 

“Cody?” Bobby asked. The little boy nodded, and the two detectives rushed towards him. 

“My leg’s stuck,” the boy said, wiggling his leg, making a chain clink.

“We’ll get you free,” Bobby said. 

Alex pulled tweezers out of her pocket, and started picking the lock on the chain. 

Bobby raised his eyebrows in surprise, but didn’t say anything. After a click indicating the lock was opened, Alex pulled the chain off the boy’s leg. 

“I want Daddy,” Cody said. 

“Come here sweetie,” Alex said, picking the boy up. 

“We’re going to take you to the hospital,” Bobby said. 

 

A day after Bobby and Alex rescued Cody, Matthew McKellen plead guilty, and was sentenced to 25 years to life. Bobby was walking with Sally-Jean, outside the courthouse after the sentencing. 

Sally-Jean’s bruising had faded, and the small cuts had healed. She had some scarring on the left side of her face still, and her arm was in a sling, but her appearance was much better. 

“Bobby?” Sally-Jean asked. 

“Yeah,” he replied. 

“What you said about your mother…were you telling the truth?” she asked.

“Yes,” Bobby replied.

“She died?” Sally asked.

“Yes,” Bobby replied.

“I’m sorry.”

Bobby nodded. 

“I used to wish my mother would die,” Sally-Jean said. “She killed my Dad. We had gone to visit him, and she was blabbering about how the aliens were sending signals through the wires. Then she totally flipped out, and started tearing all the tubes and wires away. I was so scared, I just stood in the corner and watched. After she had pulled everything away, she grabbed my arm, and pulled me away. She said we had to run before the aliens came and found us. The next thing I knew, we were in the United States, living on the streets, always running from the aliens. I never even got to say goodbye to my Dad. I was so mad at her, I wanted her to die too, she killed Daddy! But if she died then I’d be alone, and I knew it wasn’t her fault. I still loved her. So I found a home for her, and started working to pay for her care.”

“That’s horrible,” Bobby said. 

“That’s life,” she replied. 

Just then, the officer that Bobby recognized from Sally’s apartment came towards them. He grabbed Sally’s arm. 

“No,” Bobby said. He had tried to get her status legalized, but the process was slow. 

“It’s all right Bobby,” Sally-Jean said. “I can pay for mom’s care from Canada, and I’m ready to go home,” she said. “Good bye, and thank you.” 

“You’re really just going to go back to Canada?” Bobby asked. 

“I can visit Daddy’s grave, and I’d rather leave the New York criminals to you,” she said with a grin. “Canada is home, and I’m ready to go.”

He watched, as she was lead to the vehicle. She climbed in willingly waving to him as the car pulled away. Bobby was at a loss as she disappeared, the vehicle melting into the sea of cars driving away. 

 

Bobby re-did the button on the black jacket as he stood up. He walked up to the casket, and placed a violet flower on it, a flower the same color as the eyes of the little girl. 

“Good bye Melissa,” he whispered. He had said too many good byes in the past couple months. 

Alex walked up to the casket after him, placing a single white rose down on it. “I hope you’ve found Bethany,” Alex said, and walked away, tears streaming down her face. 

Bobby turned to go back to the SUV. 

“Bobby!” Alex called. 

He turned around, and she rushed up to him. 

“I’ve missed you,” she said. 

“I’ve missed you too,” he replied. 

“I was afraid to love you,” she told him. “I was afraid what happened to Joe would happen to you. And I didn’t want to betray him… but he told me that if anything ever happened to him, to find someone else. To be happy. I had forgotten that, until Melissa reminded me,” she said, turning towards the casket again.

“She was a special little girl,” Bobby said. 

They stood in silence for a moment. 

“You were right,” she whispered.

“About what?” he asked.

“It’s better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all.”

Bobby thought about people he had recently lost. His mother, Bethany, Melissa. He was still glad to have known them, even though the pain of losing them hurt. 

“She left this for me,” Alex said, holding out a child’s picture book. It was The Little Engine That Could. 

“It’s a good story,” Bobby said. 

“Yes, inspiring,” Alex agreed. She was grinning at him, and he grinned back. Before they knew what was happening, they were in each other’s arms, apologizing for everything that had happened. 

They finally pulled away, staring into each other’s eyes. 

“It’s raining,” Alex said looking up. Bobby nodded, and a drop splashed him on the shoulder. 

Soon it started to pour. People ran for their cars. 

“Alex,” Bobby said. She turned to him. 

“Have you ever ran in the rain?”

“Not for a long time,” she said. 

Bobby grinned, and ran with his arms spread, his face turned to the sky. 

Alex laughed and chased him, her wet hair flying behind her. 

The two very different people ran through the rain, ignoring the looks others gave them. 

Soon other people began to run with them. Melissa’s mother ran, tears falling down her cheeks, mixing with the rain. Mallory’s husband ran too, Melissa’s little brother on his back laughing with delight. 

Bobby and Alex ran the longest, releasing all the pain they had felt over the past few months. They raced through the graveyard; their faces turned up towards the heavens, where they were sure the people they had loved and lost would be smiling down on them.


	23. Epilogue

Alex came back to work shortly after Melissa’s death. She and Bobby decided to tell Ross about their relationship, and to their surprise, he had agreed to let them both stay in the squad, but with different partners. Bobby and Wheeler worked together, and Alex and Mike worked together. Carolyn went back to her other job, but she stayed close friends with Bobby, Alex, and Mike. 

Cody Marshall had been put in foster care, but had been adopted 6 months later by a couple who loved him. 

Bobby got a letter from Canada. When he opened it, he found just a picture of a baby girl. Written on the back was _Roberta Hope Randall, ‘Bobbie’. Roberta for the man who helped me more than he knows, Hope for the future, Randall for all those who came before me._   
He had placed the photo in an album, after the pictures of his and Alex’s wedding.

 

“I’m home!” Bobby yells, as he walks in the door. 

Alex looks up with a smile, and their 2-year-old daughter, Melissa, races towards him. 

“Daddy!” she cries. 

Alex sets down the book she had been reading to the little girl. It’s ‘The Little Engine That Could’. 

**The End**


End file.
